“And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one: I in them, and thou in me,that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me.” (John 17:22-23, emphasis added)
I am not perfect, yet. I must be cleansed and made perfect before I can enter the Kingdom of God. How does this happen?
Imagine a beautiful sparkling lake, high in the mountains. The water is blue in the bright sunlight, and so clean and pure that the bottom is clearly visible. There is a crystal clear mountain stream feeding the lake. The stream tumbles over rocks and falls as it rushes to the lake. Imagine one drop of muddy water falls into the stream. As it travels with the fresh spring water, the impurities fall to the bottom and the drop merges completely with the stream. It enters the lake pure and clean.
The lake is the Kingdom of God. The stream is the Lord Jesus Christ. The spring is the love of God. I am the drop of water. As I give my life to the Lord, turning my will over to Him and seeking His will in each moment, I become one with Him. My impurities fall away. I am absorbed and cleaned by His purity. Together we tumble through life over rocks and falls, side by side. When I am one with Him, He can use me to nourish and nurture the plant and animal life in and along the banks of the stream.
This can only happen if I choose to lose myself in Him. If I remain separate, holding on to my will, I remain imperfect.
Turn to Him
When I find myself stressed and unsure, rather than seeking for my own answer and approach, I turn to Him. I ask for His guidance. I make the best choice I can in the moment and wait patiently for His direction to be revealed to me. Most problems do not require immediate action. Many times, as I pause and take a breath, the problem resolves itself. If not, I am always grateful that I took time to turn to the Lord, discern His will, and embrace it.
I choose to lose myself and become one with Him so that I may be made perfect.
When you are stressed and unsure, what do you usually do?
How can you train yourself to turn to Him and embrace His will in each moment, rather than relying on the “arm of flesh?”
Please share your thoughts about this post by commenting below.
“Pray in the name of Jesus Christ about your concerns, your fears, your weaknesses—yes, the very longings of your heart. And then listen! Write the thoughts that come to your mind. Record your feelings and follow through with actions that you are prompted to take.” (President Russell M. Nelson, Revelation for the Church, Revelation for Our Lives, Ensign, May 2018, p. 95)
I love step-by step approaches to improving my life. In this talk, Russell M. Nelson, President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, offers a simple, straightforward approach to receiving personal revelation for our lives. He did not present it as a set of defined steps, but that is how they feel to me.
1. Pray
What should we pray about? Our concerns, our fears, our weaknesses, and the longings of our hearts. How do we pray? In the name of Jesus Christ.
When we pray with a true understanding of the Lord’s ability and willingness to ease our burdens and help us come unto and become like Him; if we are willing to trust Him, He can deliver us. What does He deliver us from? From bondage to our concerns, our fears, our weaknesses and shortcomings. When we take them out of the dark hiding places of our hearts and hold them up to His light, they lose their power to keep us from achieving our full potential in this life, with His help.
2. And then listen!
What a concept! This took me many years to learn for myself. I thought I was finished with my prayer when I said “Amen.” I would get up from my knees and go about my life wondering when and how I would ever hear answers to my prayers.
3. Write the thoughts…Record your feelings
The thoughts and feelings that come to us when we listen after praying can be personal revelation for our lives. When I first started listening for, and receiving answers a disconcerting pattern emerged. After a few hours I could remember that I had received an answer to my prayer, but I couldn’t remember what I had heard! I started writing – at first just the answers and then the entire prayer including the answers. My practice of written prayer has enhanced my personal relationship with the Savior so much that when I cannot write, I feel cheated.
4. Follow through with actions
This is the crux or heart of the matter. It is what I still struggle with and work on daily. Almost every prayer I write includes a plea for help with recognizing and acting upon the promptings I receive that day. Activities and distractions frequently push down the thoughts and promptings under a load of urgent but often less important things. When Satan cannot stop me from praying and receiving guidance, he settles for distracting me from acting on it. I am reminded of the talk, “Good, Better, Best” given by President Dallin H. Oaks in October 2007 General Conference. It is always best to follow the personal revelation I receive from the Lord each day.
What are you willing to do today to enhance your ability to receive personal revelation?
How can you better act upon the revelation you receive?
Please share your thoughts about this post by commenting below.
I thank Thee for blessing me abundantly. Infinitely. I have everything I need. I trust you to give me what I need as my needs arise….
Dearest Mira,
Good morning, sweet daughter. I love thee. I am always with thee. I bless you abundantly because you allow me to do it. I am able to place blessings in your arms because they are stretched out to me and open. I love all my children equally. They could all receive of my abundance, if they would reach out and ask. When they are closed—trying to do it all by themselves (sometimes in misguided attempts to be “self-reliant”)—they cannot receive the blessings I would love to bestow upon them…
Myself! Myself!
When I was 2 or 3 years old and my brother was a baby, I nearly drove my mother crazy because I wanted to do everything by myself. She used to tell a story about trying to get all of us ready and out the door to get to a baby checkup appointment on time. My shoes weren’t on and I refused to let her help me, with a resounding cry of “Myself! Myself!” I wasn’t capable of doing it myself, but I fought off her attempts to help me.
If it had been the right time for me to learn to put on and fasten my own shoes, it wouldn’t have mattered how long it took me to do it myself. It would have been part of the learning process. But that was not the time. I wasn’t able to do it myself, and she was trying to get out the door. My refusal to accept her help was impeding our progress.
Self-Reliance includes God
I wonder how often we do that to Heavenly Father? He knows our current capabilities and our potential. But how often do we stubbornly insist on trying to do things for ourselves that we are not yet ready to do without His help, turning to Him only in desperation, after we have exhausted ourselves, and others? This impedes our progress.
Self-reliance doesn’t mean independence from God. Nor does it mean total dependence on Him for every little thing. It means interdependence with Him. It is our responsibility to do what we have learned to do for ourselves, and to turn to Him for help with the rest. He has promised to be with us, strengthen us and lead us by the right hand in Isaiah 41.
“Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness…For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.”
Sometimes, even as early as childhood, we are given “gifts” that do us more harm than good. Sometimes they are given to us quite on purpose by loving but misguided people who think they are “doing it for our own good.” At other times these “gifts” are given to us by dysfunctional people who are, deliberately or unwittingly, trying to manipulate us so that they can get their own needs met. The unwelcome gifts I am talking about are things like fear, low self-esteem or self confidence, feelings of lack of worthiness, of never being “good enough” to please a parent or loved one.
If we continue to hold onto these unwelcome “gifts,” to believe these false ideas and act in harmony with them, we cannot reach our full God-given potential. Be assured that these feelings do not come from God.
Imagine that these feelings are like clothing. We open the box and try them on. We may wear them for a very long time, but we are capable of taking them off, putting them aside and choosing something else to wear.
At their most destructive this clothing is like a suit of body armor. It will protect us from being hurt. But it is very heavy and it saps our energy to wear it. We may not be vulnerable to the arrows or bullets that may come our way, but we also cannot run or jump or dance while we wear it. It severely limits our freedom to explore our world, find our talents, experience joy.
Imagine that we are living on the seashore. As we “go out into the world” we walk into the ocean. Free of the body armor, we can swim. We can hear loving voices calling to us and see the light of the lighthouse so that even if we venture out into deep water, we can find our way home. Wearing the body armor, we quickly find ourselves under water, feet firmly planted on the ocean floor. Our Rescuer sits in a rowboat over our heads, holding a tube down to us so that we can breathe. We gulp the air from the tube, feeling like the world is a very hard place to live. We cannot hear clearly. We cannot see clearly. We cannot move quickly or easily. We may be developing very strong muscles as we fight to live under the water in this way, wearing the armor that is weighing us down, but at what price?
Take off the armor! Let it go! Even if it was a gift from someone you love, it is causing you to drown! Will taking it off make you vulnerable? Possibly, but you will shoot to the surface, be able to breathe deeply and fully and freely. You will hear the voices of Love and Truth clearly calling to you. The Rescuer will help you into the boat and carry you safely to shore. He will protect you and heal you when you get hurt. You will be able to swim, to run, to laugh, to play, to experience joy and fulfillment. These are gifts that are far more valuable than the suffocating “protection” of the body armor. Let go of fear. Trust the Rescuer to protect you.
What feeling, thought or ideas are weighing you down that you can take off and let go of?
Please share your thoughts about this post by commenting below.
Don’t “dig a pit for your neighbor” by holding expectations that have not been communicated.
It has been my observation that much of the unhappiness in our relationships can be attributed to expectations: missed expectations, unreasonable expectations, unexpressed expectations. When I have expectations of how others will behave, and they are not aware of or not capable of meeting them, I am setting them up to fail. If I don’t know what someone’s expectations are, despite my best efforts to meet their needs and serve them with love, I may disappoint them.
Those of us who have been hurt or abused in the past, may have deep-seated unmet needs. We may desperately want those around us to meet those needs. We must be careful not to compound the problem by having such high expectations of those around us that we set ourselves up for disappointment.
Part of the problem is that we don’t always know that we have expectations of someone until they fail to meet them! Then our surprise and disappointment can make them feel inadequate, incapable, embarrassed or ashamed. It can become a cycle of hurt.
Think about times that there have been negative feelings in your relationships. Can you trace it back to missed expectations?
I can hear some of you saying, “But I have to have some expectations of others in my life!” Perhaps. If you feel like you must, here are some guidelines that I have found help to avoid creating hurt and disappointment in my relationships.
Guidelines for Expectations:
Be aware of them
Sometimes we have expectations of others that we aren’t even aware of. This could be because we assume all people will behave the way we do, or the way we were raised. Think about your expectations of others and try to be aware of them.
Choose them carefully
If you find that you do have expectations of others, make a conscious decision that you are either going to keep them, or let them go. Don’t just hold on to them by default.
Make sure they are reasonable
Ask yourself if it is likely that the other person will be able to meet your expectations. If it is not, then you are creating an environment of continually repeated hard feelings and frustration. This damages the other person by making them feel like they will never be good enough. This also affects you, by almost guaranteeing your disappointment, and feelings of low self-worth. After all, if s/he really cared about you they would meet your expectations, right?
Communicate them
Even if you have conscious, reasonable expectations, if you do not clearly communicate them, the other person can fail to meet them. Not because they can’t, and not because they choose not to, but just because they didn’t know about them, or don’t have the same understanding of them as you have! For example, perhaps you are a romantic and you would like your loved one to recognize the anniversary of your first date. If s/he is not romantic by nature, they may not even know what the date is, never mind realize that you would like to celebrate it! It is unfair of you to be disappointed that they didn’t remember. If it is important to you, let them know. Don’t “dig a pit for your neighbor” (2 Nephi 28) by setting up situations in your relationships in which someone is likely to be disappointed or hurt.
The other person must agree to them
If you don’t share your reasonable expectations with the other person, and come to an agreement that they will try, in good faith, to meet them, you are likely to be disappointed. Suppose that you express to them that you have a need, and request that they meet it. If they don’t agree to do it, you will probably be disappointed. You cannot control others. You can only control yourself.
What if this person doesn’t want to meet your expectations? Then you need to let go of their behavior and focus on your own. If the other person is an adult, you have to come to terms with the fact that they have their agency and are not obligated to comply with your requests, however reasonable and clearly communicated. When the person in question is one of your children, Love and Logic has some great approaches. Most of them deal with focusing on what you can control (your own choices and behaviors) rather than what you cannot control (your child’s choices and behaviors).
It may make you feel vulnerable to express your needs and desires and risk rejection. You are already doing that by assuming that they will know what to do to make you happy and are willing and able to do it. It is better to talk about it in a calm and reasonable way ahead of time and try to work out a win/win for your relationship.
What if I do all that and I am still disappointed?
What do I do if someone does not meet my reasonable and communicated expectations? That depends on the circumstance.
They tried and failed. I thank them for their efforts, figure out how to get the immediate problem solved without judgment or shaming, and think about or talk with them about what we can do the next time to get a better outcome.
They didn’t even try. This tells me that there is something wrong on a deeper level in our relationship. Perhaps my expectation was not as reasonable as I thought. Perhaps it didn’t take into consideration his/her needs. Perhaps s/he was reluctant to share their true feelings with me because when I don’t get what I want I have a tendency to throw shame or guilt. I have to examine my motives. Am I trying to manipulate or control the other person? Am I being selfish? Maybe they have an unexpressed need that I wasn’t aware of? Maybe they never really agreed to meet my expectations in the first place?
Letting Go
I have written several posts on how to let go of things we cannot control. If our best efforts to have and communicate reasonable expectations are ineffective, the Lord can help us to let go and seek His help to find another approach to getting our needs met.
Write about times you have been disappointed or worse as a result of expectations that were not met.
What will you do differently in the future to pursue serenity and peace in your life?
Please share your thoughts about this post by commenting below.
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me … and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)
Picture yourself taking His yoke upon you. What do you see? Do you see yourself carrying a balanced burden using a yoke He has designed especially for your body, to enable you to bear your burdens as easily as possible? Is the burden that you carry heavy, but more efficiently borne because of the yoke He has given you to help you carry it?
Or do you see yourself harnessed to one side of a double yoke, sharing the burden with the Lord?
Alma asked the people he was teaching in the wilderness if they were “willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light.” He told them this was one of the requirements for baptism. Who are we told to emulate in this life? Who is our great Example? Christ, of course. We are counseled to become like Him. If we are to “bear one another’s burdens” as a prerequisite to baptism we must be following Christ’s example in which He bears ours!
President Howard W. Hunter explained what is meant by “take my yoke upon you.”
Why do we hesitate to take His yoke upon us?
For some, the culture of self-reliance has become twisted in our minds to the extent that we think it means we have to exhaust every ounce of human strength within our bodies before we can ask for His help. If this is what is holding you back, I would encourage you to watch “His Grace is Sufficient,” an inspiring and informative BYU Devotional talk by Brad Wilcox.
Some people are afraid “His yoke” will be heavier than their own; that taking His yoke upon them will add to their existing burden. He promises that if we will take His yoke upon us He will give us rest! His yoke is lighter than ours because He carries most of the weight. Imagine if you were in a double yoke pulling a heavy cart and the person sharing the yoke with you was a small child. Who would be carrying most of the weight? You, of course. And suppose there was rocky ground and the child lost their footing and was stumbling and struggling to regain it and keep up with you. Would the child’s struggle make it easier or harder for you to pull the load? Harder! When we are sharing a yoke with the Lord, if we come to rocky ground and lose our footing, we make His job more difficult by trying desperately to figure out how to regain our balance for ourselves. During those times, we need to lift our feet and allow Him to carry us to smooth ground and resume our journey.
Finally, some are reluctant to be yoked to the Lord because they are not really sure they can trust Him. They are afraid that the direction He will pull or the weight of the load or the speed of the journey will not be what they would choose. They are reluctant to turn their will and their lives over to His care. They think that they are more capable of choosing the best (easiest) path for themselves than He is. Through Malachi the Lord challenges us to “prove me now herewith.” Alma also challenged the people to test the Lord.
“But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.” (Alma 32:27)
To you who are not sure you can trust Him, I say, give Him a chance. You can always take back control later if He proves unworthy of your trust. But give Him enough time to get some results before giving up.
I challenge you to try taking the Lord’s double yoke upon you. If you have already done so, and the journey still seems harder than it should be, I would encourage you to ask Him how to lift your feet and allow Him to carry you to smoother ground.
What burdens are you carrying in your journey?
What are you doing to make your journey harder than it needs to be?
What will you do today to “take His yoke upon you” as a way to enable Him to make your burden light and grant you rest?
Please share your thoughts about this post by commenting below.
I float on my back down the river of life. My feet are downstream so that I see just a little bit of what lies ahead over the tips of my toes. The river moves slowly and the Lord walks by my side with his hand under me, supporting my back. He sees what is coming ahead. I trust Him to guide me and keep me safe on this relatively easy and effortless journey.
From time to time there are boulders and trees in the riverbed. When I come close enough to touch something with my feet, I need to be soft and flexible. My knees act like shock absorbers, bending as needed and then I straighten them to push myself off the obstruction. Sometimes I “tiptoe” around the object until I can resume my journey.
The water flows a little faster as the riverbed drops down on occasion. I feel a little fear, and look up at my Savior who continues to walk calmly by my side. He smiles reassuringly. I feel His hand gently supporting me. My circumstances do not threaten me. I am safe with Him.
Sometimes there are rapids. I may get bumped and a little bruised. But with the Lord to rescue me and keep me safe, I will not drown, unless I refuse His aid. He may lift me directly and carry me down river past the danger. Or He may have a raft manned by His servants pick me up and care for me temporarily. Sometimes He drafts me to care for others as my journey downstream continues.
There is only one way for me to be in danger: if I decide to manage the trip myself. Even when the river is slow, I barely see over the tips of my toes. Without His loving guidance I will get snagged by submerged limbs. If I try to go it alone in the white water, I will surely be smashed on the rocks or caught in a whirlpool. No. I cannot navigate the river alone. And why would I want to?
How fast is the river of your life flowing right now?
How flexible are you when you encounter obstacles? What does that look like in your life?
What will you do today to give more control to the Savior and allow Him to guide you?
Please share your thoughts about this post by commenting below.
“If you feel worried, self-pitying, troubled, anxious, resentful, carnal minded, or fearful in any way, turn immediately to the Father and allow Him to replace these thoughts with peace.”
When I turn to my addiction (or any other behavior) rather than the Savior when I feel “worried, self-pitying, troubled, anxious, resentful, carnal minded, or fearful,” I voluntarily forfeit the peace the Lord can give me and settle instead for temporary numbness or distraction and subsequent remorse. He is willing and able to give me the peace I crave. The price for that peace is the willingness to recognize the pain, humble myself, turn to Him, and open my heart to receive it. So why don’t I just do it?
Recognize the Pain
The feelings listed in the quote above are uncomfortable. I don’t like to feel them. I don’t want to stay in this place. I have a natural tendency, a habit of many years, to look for comfort in distraction or in my “drug of choice.” When I feel these emotions, I need to train myself to recognize this moment as an opportunity to find peace, rather than turn to my old familiar “friends.” (see Changing Channels.)
Humble Myself
I need to admit that I cannot obtain the relief and peace I seek by my own efforts. I have tried and failed at this repeatedly. I need to acknowledge that only with the Lord’s help will I find the peace I crave.
Turn to the Lord
I figuratively or literally get on my knees and acknowledge to the Lord that I am feeling things that have sent me to my addiction in the past. I tell Him that I don’t want to go there this time. I tell Him I am willing to let go of these feelings. I ask Him to take them, and replace them with peace. (See Staying Abstinent: Using the Tools – Part 1.)
Open My Heart to Receive His Peace
I make a decision to trust that He will do it, and wait for it to happen. Sometimes I wait right there on my knees. At other times I go about my business, and allow myself to feel the feelings for the moment. I remind myself that I will not die from these feelings. I choose to trust Him to walk by my side and help me to bear them, until He grants me peace, in His time.
“Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness…For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.”
I am not perfect yet. (See On Being a Perfect Rosebud.) I am a child of God, a human being on earth, and as such, I instinctively avoid pain. But I have learned that I can survive pain now, to get what I want. It is called delaying gratification. I save now so that I can buy what I want later without going into debt. I exercise now so that I enjoy good health and am happy with my body. I work the steps now so that I can live “happy, joyous and free” from my addiction.
I turn to the Lord now, instead of my addiction, so that I can have peace.
What uncomfortable feelings trigger you to seek relief in the wrong places?
What behaviors do you habitually turn to to escape the discomfort or pain?
What are you willing to do today to seek the peace of the Lord instead?
Please share your thoughts about this post by commenting below.
Losing a loved one is always hard. Even when they have lived a good life and are just “done”, it is hard to let go; to accept that there will now be a time of separation. For those who have a testimony of life after death, it can be a little easier, because we have hope of being together again. But the pain of missing them is still a reality of life.
Acceptance
The key to peace for me, as I lost first my father and then my mother within ten months, is acceptance. In On Grief and Grieving Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler identified 5 stages in the grieving process: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I know that many people do experience these five stages, and it is good for them to understand the process so that they don’t think something is wrong with them as they pass through these emotions.
My Experience
Thirty years ago I lost my three year-old son Mikey in a drowning accident. It was certainly unexpected and played out quickly over just a few days. Now I have lost my Dad and my Mom who both declined slowly over years and months. In all three cases, regardless of whether death came suddenly and unexpectedly, as a welcome relief, or was a quiet, peaceful passing, my experience with grief and loss seems to be colored by my testimony of an afterlife and the 12-Step work I have done on acceptance. I have learned to trust the Lord in all things, everyday. I have learned that with His help I can overcome anything; he will give me the strength and power to do all things that are expedient unto him (see Moroni 7:33.)
As far as I can tell, I have not experienced denial, anger, bargaining or depression in the face of death; some sadness – yes, but sadness is not depression. I have been blessed to go immediately to a place of acceptance. It is a comfortable place. I am grateful for this gift.
The morning I got word that my mother had slipped through the veil, I was standing in the bedroom and the following conversation took place in my head. I seemed to hear my mother speaking to me.
Mom: “You know what? There IS an afterlife! And Dad is here, too!!!”
Me: “I know, Mom. ?”
Then, a few minutes later, I was reflecting on the fact that I never “heard from” Dad after he died, and I thought, “He was too proud and stubborn to tell me I was right”. And then, in my head, I heard HIS voice: “Yeah, yeah.?”
As I wrote my prayers in the days following my mother’s death, this came to me in the Lord’s response to one prayer:
“Your Mom and Dad are adjusting to the new realities of their lives. Because your Mom is more open to learning new truth that is not consistent with the ‘traditions of their fathers,’ she and your Dad will be walking the same spiritual path at the same time, despite his earlier arrival. It helps that Mikey, and their parents, are able to visit with and teach them. Oh, what interesting conversations are taking place up here. ?”
As I said at the end of my post about Dad’s death, it is what it is. I am at peace. And I am grateful.
Please share your thoughts about this post by commenting below.
What goes on in your mind when something “goes wrong?” I started thinking about this not too long ago. Some people obsess about why it happened. I don’t. So what do I do?
Is It Something I Can Control?
I go through a kind of flowchart in my mind in these situations. It actually happens pretty quickly most of the time. The first thing I ask myself is, “Is this something I can control?” This is a key question because if it is not something I can control, no amount of anguish, effort or frustration is going to change anything.
If the Problem or Situation is Not Under My Control
If the problem is something that I cannot control I quickly do Steps 1, 2, and 3:
Step 1: Admit that I am powerless over the matter.
Step 2: Acknowledge that God can handle it.
Step 3: Make a decision to turn it over to Him and trust His timing.
I have written several other posts on how to let go and trust God. For example, “Learning to Let Go.” Once I have turned it over, I need to be willing to trust His timing. If I find myself obsessing about the matter again, it is probably related to His timing more than anything else. I want the problem solved immediately. He has a perfect sense of when the necessary lessons have been learned and will resolve these things in His own way and time. I need to remember that I turned it over and decide to let it go once more. ( See more on the “God Box” ).
If It is Something I Can Control
Sometimes a problem is something I could do something about, but should not. It might be outside of my area of stewardship – in other words, none of my business. Or it might be better for the other people involved if I let them figure out a solution for themselves. Even if it is my problem to solve, it is often the case that the immediate and obvious answer that pops into my head is not the best one. I have found that praying for guidance is always worth the time.
Praying for Guidance
“Lord, what wilt thou have me do?” This is the humble prayer the Guide to Addiction Recovery and Healing says to use in Step 7 on page 42. I usually write this type of prayer (see more here), and list out the options that I can think of, describing the pros and cons, trying to think ahead to what the outcomes (including possible unintended consequences) might be. I believe this is in harmony with the Lord’s direction to Oliver Cowdery in the 9th Section of the Doctrine & Covenants.
Doing the Footwork
Sometimes the footwork is to watch and wait and continue to pray. Other times it requires more action. If I need to take action I want to feel comfortable that the action I am going to take has the approval of the Lord. And sometimes I need to have the courage to take the action the Lord gives me to do. I may feel fear. When this happens I try to remember two of my favorite scriptures:
“And Christ hath said: If ye will have faith in me ye shall have power to do whatsoever thing is expedient in me.” (Moroni 7:33)
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7)
Trust in the Lord’s Timing
In the end, whether it turns out to be something I have no control over or something I need to act upon, it all comes down to trusting the Lord and His timing.
Is there something going on in your life right now that should be put through this process?
Are you willing to let go of it and turn it over if it is something that is not in your area of stewardship, or if the Lord tells you just to be patient right now?
Are you willing to ask the Lord, with an open mind and heart, if there is any footwork that you need to do?
Are you willing to do the footwork He has given you?
How do you feel about accepting His timing in the resolution of this matter?
I have an old battery operated transistor radio I use sometimes when I go for a walk. When it is not quite tuned in to the correct frequency, I can hear some of what is being said, but it may fade in and out, there may be static and sometimes I can hear country music or preaching from another station in the background. I try to avoid changing the station at all because it is so hard to get it to exactly the right spot! Sometimes, in order to be sure I am tuned in to the right station, I take it over to another radio that I know is correct and turn them both on at the same time.
My heart is like a radio, but it receives the voice of my Savior instead of receiving a radio broadcast. The signal that carries the Savior’s voice is the Holy Ghost. This concept is clearly taught in Doctrine and Covenants 8:2, “Yea, behold, I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart.” (See also Moses 5:9 and Moroni 8:7-9). This spiritual signal is always broadcasting, just like a radio station, but sometimes I get busy and caught up in the world. At these times I cannot hear the Lord’s voice because I am either not listening at all or not tuned in very well.
Sometimes I can hardly hear because of the “background noise” in my life. This includes the stresses of my day-to-day life and Satan’s lies. I am especially susceptible to the ones that include “if only,” “someday,” “should,” and “I can eat just one – it will make me feel better.” I create static for myself when I compare myself to others. I have written in a previous post about the “committee in my head”. Those voices sometimes shout so loudly that they would drown out anything!
I want so much to be able to hear the voice of love, harmony and peace that speaks to me when I tune in to the right frequency and reduce or eliminate the background noise. I have had to learn this lesson through trial, error and practice. First, I have to notice when I am not in tune with the Spirit, and not hearing the Lord’s voice. Second, I have to reawaken my desire to hear it. Third, I have to do what is necessary to get tuned in.
I take an honest look at my life – an inventory. I ask myself if I have any self-limiting beliefs or habits that are creating static. Is there anything I need to change to be able to hear His voice?
I have discovered that listening to the right kind of music can help me tune in as much as listening to the wrong kind can interfere. For me, music with words is distracting but certain kinds of instrumental music – Native American flute for example – can help me hear the still small voice of the Spirit.
I have to be willing to believe that the Savior really loves me unconditionally and wants to communicate with me in order to hear His voice. If I don’t turn on my spiritual radio because I am afraid that nothing is being broadcast, I won’t hear the message no matter how good it is.
Just as I sometimes take my little transistor radio over to one that I know is on the right station, I have learned to recognize the Savior’s voice by reading His words in the scriptures and listening to the prophets when He speaks to me through them.
Tuning in is quite a bit of work, but well worth the effort. Staying tuned in is easier than getting tuned in. I try to avoid changing the station at all.
Are you in tune?
Do you need to eliminate static or fine tune your receiver?
What actions are you willing to take to help you get and stay in tune so you can better receive personal revelation through the Spirit?
Deuteronomy 5:7, “Thou shalt have none other gods before me.”
When is my addiction like another god which I am putting before the Lord? When I turn to my addiction for comfort at times of stress instead of turning to Him.
When I am stressed, what happens in my brain goes something like this:
I feel uncomfortable/stressed/anxious, etc.
I don’t like feeling this way. I just want the feeling to stop!
What will make me feel better? I know!
My old friend #$%&# (in my case, food, but you can substitute any behavior or substance).
At this point in the process, I begin to obsess about how to use my addiction to make myself feel better. Unless I do something to break the pattern, I will probably act out, sooner or later.
The Lord tells us not to put any other gods before him, and what will happen if we do (2 Chronicles 7:19-22). We will lose the blessings and privileges he has given us. I will lose the progress and recovery that I have gained if I turn to my addiction instead of the Lord.
So what can I do to break the pattern? How can I turn to the Lord when I am stressed or anxious or experiencing any other feeling I don’t want to feel?
I stop what I am doing, take a deep breath and literally turn to my right (Isaiah 41:10,13), where I imagine that the Lord is standing by my side. I ask Him to take this from me; to help me to bear this burden by giving me the strength I need to get through this situation without giving in to my addiction. I remember that he has promised that he will give me the power to do all things which are expedient unto Him (Moroni 7:33), and I make a decision to trust Him and let His power flow into me. I may have to do it more than once until the feeling subsides completely, but eventually, it will be gone and I will be grateful that I chose abstinence instead of letting my addiction win.
What do you turn to for comfort when you are stressed?
Are you “putting other gods before Him?”
What could you do differently that would help you more than what you do now?
One way to keep a dog in the yard without tying him up is to install an “invisible fence.” This consists of a wire which is buried around the perimeter of the yard and a collar that the dog wears. The collar has a radio receiver that picks up a signal if the dog gets too close to the wire. When this occurs a mild “correction” (shock) is triggered to let the dog know not to go any further. Most dogs can be trained to learn the boundaries and not to get too close to them. Why? They don’t like being “corrected!” In fact, after a while, you might even forget to turn on the fence, and the dog might never even realize it.
Supposing, however, that the dog has a boy, a boy he loves and would protect with his life. Suppose further that the boy is being attacked by the neighborhood bully just outside of the fence. Do you think there is a good chance that the dog would defend his boy even if it meant that he had to endure the “correction?” Why? Because his reason to cross the fence is more important and more urgent than his reason not to.
Most of us also have an invisible fence. We call it our “comfort zone.” One way or another we have learned that when we get too close to the limits of our comfort zone we get this nasty “sick” feeling. I may gaze longingly out past the limits, daydreaming about what I could achieve or accomplish or do … if only I wasn’t afraid to try. I may feel frustrated at the limitations I have imposed upon myself, but I am too afraid of the “correction” I might receive (such as rejection, criticism, failure or ridicule) if I were to get too close to the line.
Just like the dog, it takes a reason more important to me than my fear to get me to cross the line; something I want badly enough to risk getting hurt. Sometimes when I finally step out of my comfort zone I discover that someone forgot to turn on the fence, and, other than the butterflies in my stomach, I receive no “correction” at all! Then there are times when someone does criticize or reject me, or I do try something and “fail” the first time. But if I just keep working on it, what I come to find out is that the limits of my comfort zone have expanded and I have lived to tell about it. In fact, after a while I may discover that pushing on the limits of my comfort zone has become a game I play with myself, receiving enough joy and pleasure in setting goals and reaching them to outweigh the discomfort or pain of the growth process.
What is your reason – your dream? Is it big enough to help you overcome your fear? If it is a righteous desire of your heart, the Lord will help you achieve it. He may not just give it to you. It may come in the form of smaller experiences, perhaps even uncomfortable ones, which strengthen you and prepare you so that when the opportunity does present itself you are ready to act upon it. Do you need help in overcoming fear? Find your dream. Think it through. Write about it.
The Lord loves us. He doesn’t toy with us. In Moroni 7:33 we find this promise:
“And Christ hath said: If ye will have faith in me ye shall have power to do whatsoever thing is expedient in me.”
Become willing to follow His guidance and counsel, walking in faith, so that he can give you the power to achieve the righteous desires of your heart.
What are you afraid to try?
What would help you to overcome your fear?
Will you pray for that help?
What will you do today to push out the limits of your comfort zone?
Please share your thoughts about this post by commenting below.
I have often heard people compare life to a roller coaster, with ups and downs. There is some value in that metaphor, but it seems to me that it might be more helpful to compare our lives to the earth as it travels its course. As it revolves, it goes from day to night and back to day. Yet, even as this rhythm is beating like a drum, it passes through seasons that encompass the days and the nights.
During the day, we can usually see the path before us clearly, although there are seasons when it is obscured even in the daytime, when covered with snow, or our vision is limited by fog or storms. During the night, even though we know there is a path before us, it can be very hard to see it, as our human eyes require a high level of light to see things and recognize them with confidence.
The Lord is our light source at all times. During the day, he provides the sunlight, and we see so easily and well that we may take it for granted. However, during the night, without sunlight we can become discouraged, we can lose our way, stray from the path. Sometimes, because we fear, we stop our forward progress during the night completely. We refuse to take a step without being able to see the horizon, and we wait for the morning, for the dawn. This seems like the safest choice. But even when we cannot see clearly, the Lord can be our beacon. Even in the darkest times, he shines the light so that we may see the path, if we will look and trust him. If we let go of our fear, open our eyes and take one step at a time we are safe when we stay in the light of his love. Even when all that we can see is where to put one foot next, if we trust him not to lead us astray we can continue our journey. And the night will eventually give birth to the day.
I am reminded of the words of a wonderful hymn (#97), “Lead, Kindly Light,” written by John Newman in 1833.
Lead, kindly Light, amid th’encircling gloom, Lead Thou me on! The night is dark, and I am far from home Lead Thou me on! Keep Thou my feet; I do not ask to see The distant scene; one step enough for me.
I was not ever thus, nor prayed that Thou Shouldst lead me on; I loved to choose and see my path; but now Lead Thou me on! I loved the garish day, and, spite of fears, Pride ruled my will. Remember not past years!
So long Thy power hath blest me, sure it still Will lead me on. O’er moor and fen, o’er crag and torrent, till The night is gone, And with the morn those angel faces smile, which I Have loved long since, and lost awhile!
He is always there, shining the light. He never changes. However, there are times when we turn away, perhaps in fear, and do not want to look where the light is pointing. We have eyes but do not see the way before us because we choose to look in the wrong direction, or shut our eyes and refuse to look at all, because we are afraid.
Trust the Lord. Allow Him to illuminate your path. He teaches us the truth and gives us his unconditional love. If you are experiencing darkness, bask in the warmth of his love, trust in his light, and take one step at a time until the morning comes. Let go of fear. Let go of discouragement. Let go of disappointment. Live in the present. Life is a gift. Receive it. Enjoy it. Experience it. Grow with it. There is no darkness in the presence of the Lord.
Can you think of a time when you experienced darkness?
Is there an area of your life in which you are experiencing darkness now?
Have you looked for divine light – even just a glimmer showing you your next step?
If so, are you willing to take the step that has been shown to you? If not, are you willing to look to the Lord for light and guidance?
What will you do today to find and follow the light?
Please share your thoughts about this post by commenting below.
Step 3 of A Guide to Addiction Recovery and Healing talks about trusting in God. It is easy to talk about that theoretically – how important it is to do it, why we should, how silly it is to doubt Him, etc. Actually learning to do it is another matter. Letting go of the things we want so desperately to control and turning them over to God can be hard! Here are a few tools and techniques that have helped me learn to “Let Go and Let God”. I hope you find them useful on your own journey.
Writing
Writing uses a different part of your brain than just thinking or speaking. When I write out my thoughts and the feelings of my heart, my mind slows down and I am able to discover thoughts and feelings and ideas that might have been too fleeting to capture any other way. If I write about my desire to let go of something and my reluctance to trust that the Lord will take care of it to my satisfaction, I can often find the willingness to let it go.
Visualization
Sometimes I just stand in the middle of an empty room and imagine putting whatever I am trying to let go of in a bubble resting in my open palms. Then I lift my arms and visualize myself giving the bubble a little push up to send it on its way toward the Lord’s outstretched hands. I see him receive my bubble and embrace it and I know that it is safely under His control. I know it sounds hokey, but try it. It really works for me! This works particularly well when what I need to turn over to Him is another person, usually someone who is making choices that concern me.
God Box
I have a box that I call my God Box. (Some people have a can instead, because, after all, God “CAN”.) When I find myself obsessing about a situation or a person and I know I have done everything I can do to resolve it, I write it down on a piece of paper, date it, fold it up and put it in my God Box as a physical representation of having turned the matter over to God. The next time I find myself obsessing about it, I have two choices. I can either take it out of the box and tell God that I decided to take it back, or I can remind myself that I turned it over to Him and let it go. One amazing side benefit of using the God Box is that when I put something new in it I get to go back and reread all the old papers. Doing this reminds me of what a great job He did with all those other things. In fact, He did such a fabulous job with some of those things that I don’t even remember what they were!
By the way, a “virtual” God Box does not work. There is something about physically writing it down on a piece of paper and putting it in the box that is just different and more effective than doing it in your mind.
Fasting
It is not that unusual, in the Church, for people to fast and pray for something they are concerned about. However, many times we use this tool as a way of “counseling the Lord”. In other words, we know what outcome we want for the situation and we try to control it by telling the Lord what we want Him to do. We may even add the obligatory “if it is thy will” or “nevertheless, thy will be done” to the end of our prayer as we begin our fast, but I wonder how often we really mean that.
I am going to suggest a slightly different way of using the tool of fasting. When I have a situation that I know I cannot control and that I have done everything I can or should do about it, I will fast and pray to understand and accept the Lord’s will in the matter. In this way, I invoke His help in letting it go, and turning it over to Him.
In which areas of your life do you need to do a better job of “letting go and letting God?”
Of the tools listed here, which you not tried before, feels the most comfortable to you?
What will you do today to try a new way of learning to let go?
Please share your thoughts about this post by commenting below.
I am not perfect, yet. I must be cleansed and made perfect before I can enter the Kingdom of God. How does this happen?
Sometimes, even as early as childhood, we are given “gifts” that do us more harm than good. Sometimes they are given to us quite on purpose by loving but misguided people who think they are “doing it for our own good.” At other times these “gifts” are given to us by dysfunctional people who are, deliberately or unwittingly, trying to manipulate us so that they can get their own needs met. The unwelcome gifts I am talking about are things like fear, low self-esteem or self confidence, feelings of lack of worthiness, of never being “good enough” to please a parent or loved one.
