Category Archives: Metaphor

Learning Life Skills – Your Personal Tutor

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Image of a blackboard completely filled with mathematical equations.When I was in college I had to take a year of advanced math. The class met an hour a day, Monday through Friday. I did the best I could in class, paid attention, took detailed notes, and asked questions when I didn’t understand. But I quickly found that when I went home each night I could not do the homework. I spent hours trying to figure it out, reading the book, looking over my notes, to no avail. The next day the instructor moved on to something new — something that required an understanding of the previous day’s material. I was lost, and it was only the first week of class!

I discovered that there was a Math lab, where tutors were available to help, one-on-one. I found that if I went to the lab right after class every day and did the homework with the help of a tutor, I could learn the material and avoid getting behind. Sometimes the tutors had to find a different way of explaining the concepts to me. Other times we had to go over and over things in multiple ways in order for me to grasp the material. It was hard, and frustrating, but I knew that if I didn’t do whatever it took to learn it, it would just be that much more difficult the next day.

I have found the same pattern in my life since I graduated, but I didn’t recognize it right away. I have come to understand that when I need to learn new life skills the Lord will give me as many opportunities as I need to learn them. When I don’t learn from one experience, the Lord gives me another. Sometimes I don’t learn from an experience because, in my pride, I blame others for the circumstances or outcome. Other times I am unwilling to do the work I fear would be necessary to go through an experience so I either work around it or run away from it. There are times when I have needed multiple lessons before I finally have learned a new life skill. When I do master it, I can see how necessary it was for me to learn it!  New opportunities open to me. I become a more useful servant to the Lord.

You have a personal tutor who plans your education — individualized and customized to your strengths and weaknesses — for the purpose of teaching you the life skills you will need to ascend to your eternal destiny. If you refuse or fail to learn the skill from one experience you will have as many opportunities as you need to learn it.

  • Are you tired of facing the same challenges over and over?
  • How have you reacted to these challenges in the past? Have you run away or blamed others?
  • How can you embrace the opportunities the Lord is giving you, search for insight regarding the life skills you need to learn from challenging experiences and do the work necessary to master them?
  • Are you willing to do this?  What are you willing to do?

 

 

Rock of Resentment

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Image of a beautiful green and gold rock.She was hurt, wounded to the core by the abusive words and looks, the judgment and criticism. “I am going to run away,” she thought. “No one will care if I never come back here again.”

She went for a long walk out into the desert, nursing her wounds, reflecting on the injuries she had sustained at the hands of those who should have been kind and loving, and their total lack of any redeeming qualities.

She passed a man who was walking the other way. He smiled and told her that if she was looking for some desert souvenirs, she should walk a few feet off the path over the rise just to the east.  She decided to check it out.

When she got to the top of the rise she saw what he was talking about: beautiful rocks. They were green and gold with small crystals embedded in them. Just looking at them helped her to stop obsessing about her tormentors; just a little. She walked down and picked one up. It was small enough to hold in her hand, and particularly pretty. She decided to take it with her. She hoped it would comfort her.

Suddenly she noticed that the sun was starting to go down and she headed home. Nights are cold in the desert; cold, and dark, and scary.

Over the next few days she thought endlessly about her misery. She held the rock in her hand, and pressed it to her heart as she cried, filled with hurt and resentment.

She called a kind, wise  friend one day, and shared her feelings. He told her that he was in her neighborhood, and would drop by. He listened as she poured out her heart. He noticed the rock and asked to see it. “Where did you get this?” asked her friend.  She told him the story about the walk in the desert, the stranger and the beautiful rocks.

“You can’t keep this,” declared her friend firmly but gently. “Why not!” she exclaimed. She could not understand why someone who cared about her would want to deprive her of the very thing that had brought her some peace and comfort and provided a distraction from her obsessive feelings of anger and resentment. She recoiled, holding the rock to her chest.

“No, it’s mine! I won’t let you take it. I deserve to have something to bring me pleasure. Why would you want to take away the one thing that has dulled my pain these last few days?”

“Because,” he explained, “that rock contains uranium and is radioactive. It will make you sick if you keep it, and will burn your heart if you keep holding it that way.”

She dropped the rock on the floor and her friend wrapped her in a loving embrace. “It will be alright,” He said. “Give me your hurt, your anger, your resentment and your pain. In exchange, I will give you peace and rest.”

  • Are you holding onto any destructive thoughts, ideas or feelings?
  • The rock might represent those thoughts, ideas or feelings, but it might also represent something (perhaps a substance or behavior) to which you have turned for comfort, instead of turning to the Lord. What does the rock represent for you?
  • The stranger who directed her to the rocks might represent Satan, who can be very subtle. He could represent the world (including the media), which often mistakenly touts carnal (physical) solutions to our problems. He might represent false “friends” we barely know, yet we trust to help us find relief from pain. What or who does he represent in your life?
  • Write about how this metaphor applies to you.

 

 

Progress – Climbing through the clouds

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Picture of a rough mountain path with a sheer drop off and dense fog.As we walk the mountain road of life (See Growth: Life is Like a Mountain Road), climbing towards the top, we sometimes encounter a cloud. When we are just starting our journey, still in the valley, the cloud is above us. During the last part of our climb, we break through the cloud and can see the summit clearly, and the surrounding scenery.  But while we are climbing through the cloud, we may feel cold, damp, and confused, surrounded by dense fog.

We need to remember that while the cloud is temporary, the mountain is not; neither is the road.  We can continue on the path, by putting one foot in front of the other and hugging the mountain so that we don’t accidentally fall off the edge. Another option is to stand still and wait for the cloud to lift. With the help of the Lord we can progress, even if we are scared. (See There is No Darkness in the Presence of the Lord.)

Remember: the cloud is temporary and the Lord is always by your side. (See Help: Encircled about in the Arms of His Love.)

  • What does the mountain represent to you?
  • Write about a time that you felt confused and in a fog.
  • How did you feel when the fog lifted?
  • If you are in the fog right now, what can you do to continue to make progress despite the fog?

Becoming Entirely Ready

Metaphor

Step 6 – Change of Heart: “Become entirely ready to have God remove all your character weaknesses.”

“As painful as it may be, you may have to admit, as we did, that recognizing and confessing your character weaknesses in steps 4 and 5 did not necessarily mean you were ready to give them up.”

(A Guide to Addiction Recovery and Healing, Step 6, p. 35)

Woman having her eyes examined.Step 6 can be scary, as you contemplate letting go of all of your character weaknesses. After all, they have been a part of your personality since you can remember, and they have helped you cope with the stresses of life. And besides, who would you be without them?

Let’s imagine that your vision seems to be getting worse and worse. You are having more difficulty seeing and focusing. It seems as if there is something blocking your sight. Maybe you have cataracts or macular degeneration. You debate what to do about it. You know you should probably go to the eye doctor, but what if she wants to do surgery on your eyes! The very thought makes your stomach churn. You finally get up the courage to go, fearing the worst.

The doctor examines your eyes and after she is finished she gives you the good news: there is nothing wrong with your eyes; you need to get your bangs cut!

Of course this is a silly metaphor. But really, how do you know that the character weaknesses you are stubbornly holding onto, afraid to turn over to the Lord, are not something that will be as easy to have removed as getting your bangs cut, once you become willing to ask Him to remove them?

  • What character weaknesses are you reluctant to let go of?
  • Write about the worst possible outcome of asking the Lord to remove them.
  • What can you do to become ready and willing to ask God to remove all your character weaknesses?

 

Threads in the Tapestry of Life

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Picture of several tapestry bobbins with different colors of thread. Tapestries are woven on a loom. Like most textiles created on a loom, the weaver sees the tapestry from the back side as he weaves.  One of the things that makes a tapestry unique is the design, often representational, using tiny threads of different colors to create a picture.

In life, we are like the threads of a great, God-woven tapestry.  We each have our own unique color and texture which we add to the beautiful picture as God weaves us into the fabric of life.  Sometimes we travel, for a time, with certain other threads, whose path is parallel to ours in the design.  Then our paths may diverge as we (or they) are taken over to another part of the tapestry for awhile. There will be some whose paths cross ours repeatedly; not traveling together but bumping into each other from time to time.

What makes it hard for us is that we cannot see the front of the tapestry while we are in this life.  Rather than seeing the beautiful picture we are helping to create, we see the somewhat chaotic, seemingly random underside of the tapestry. We wonder why some people are in our lives, and why others have drifted away or have been removed from our lives entirely. We may feel like our own thread is going nowhere, or around and around in circles.  When we get to the other side of the veil, we will see the tapestry from the front, and we will understand why we needed to have these experiences.  We will be able to observe first hand the beauty that has been created out of our lives by the master-weaver’s hand. And we will feel joy, happiness and gratitude that God has indeed had a plan for our lives all along.

  • Identify people in your life who travel the same path, no longer travel the same path but once did, or cross paths with you briefly from time to time. How does it make you feel to think of them as threads in your tapestry?
  • Can you catch a glimpse of or even try to imagine what the front of the tapestry looks like?  Describe the beauty in your corner of the tapestry.

 

Love: Turn Your Umbrella Upside Down

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Upside down umbrella catching rain drops. Imagine that you are a gardener. It’s late winter and you excitedly plan your garden. In your mind you can see what it will look like when everything is in full bloom. You can smell the earth and feel it between your fingers. As soon as it is warm enough you get out and turn over the dirt, carefully planting each seed, fertilizing it and tamping down the ground around it. And then, you wait.

Are you going to go out and cover your garden so that the sun can’t shine on it, the rain can’t fall on it and the insects can’t pollinate it? No! You’re grateful for those things that nourish your garden and gently coax the seeds to sprout and help the plants to grow. If there’s not enough rain you carefully water, because you know that without enough water, your garden will wither and die.

God is also a gardener. He carefully planned for each one of us. He eagerly anticipates our blossoming – each of us reaching for the full potential of what we can be. He knows what we need to grow and to bloom. He pours his love out upon us each day in so many ways: in the gentle smile of a stranger, the kind words of a friend, a sincere compliment, the gratitude of someone we have helped, the smell of a baby. He sheds a myriad of tender mercies upon us, things that others might miss, and some might call coincidences: A comforting song on the radio, a whiff of perfume in a crowd that reminds us of someone we once knew, turning on the TV just in time to hear a story that answers a prayer, finding just the right Bible verse, running into an old friend.

Much to God’s dismay, many of us don’t receive the love he pours out on us. It’s like we’re holding up umbrellas that say “I am not worthy” or “That couldn’t be for me”. We allow God’s love to run off the umbrella and fall on the ground instead of soaking it up and blossoming.

He wants us to stand in the rain of his love, look up to the sky, open our mouths and drink it in. We need to turn those umbrellas upside down and catch as much of his love as possible. Then we can gently share his love with those around us who still have their umbrellas up, letting them taste it and helping them to find the courage to peek out from under their own umbrellas and receive it for themselves.

Make Him happy. Receive his love … and share it.

  • What seeds has God planted in you?
  • How does he nurture them in your life?
  • What form does “the rain of his love” take in your life?
  • Are you using an umbrella that blocks his love from fully nurturing your life?
  • What are you willing to do to turn your umbrella upside down, catch his love and share it with others?

 

Jealousy: Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires

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Burning Campfire of JealousyFrom time to time I become aware of great things going on in the lives of those around me. Sometimes they have a wonderful marriage and when I see them together it is obvious how much in love they are. Perhaps their children are bright and accomplished and a joy to be around.  Maybe a new job that is everything they have been working towards in their career has finally come into their lives.

Generally, my heart is filled with gratitude for these blessings in their lives and I am happy for them. Occasionally, when their blessing is one that I have wished for, or even prayed for, there is also a tiny little spark of jealousy. I have come to understand that these feelings are natural, and I don’t want to beat myself up or feel shame for having them. The important thing for my ongoing recovery and healing is what I do with them when they come.

If I always have a little pile of dry tinder and an abundant supply of kindling and firewood, those sparks may start a fire in my life.  I can blow on the little embers that I ignite with those feelings and feed the flames of jealousy with ever-larger pieces of wood until I have a bonfire which consumes me, and keeps me from enjoying the many blessings of my own life. Or, like the Forest Service cleaning out unnecessary brush and dead wood to be able to better control forest fires, I can make sure I don’t keep a supply of fuel on hand for the jealousy fire by letting go of resentments and hurts as soon as possible, and avoiding comparisons of my life to others. I can keep a handy supply of living water, accumulated through gospel study and service, and use it to stamp out and douse those little sparks when they come flying through my life.

  • What feelings are sparks in your life?
  • Do you have a supply of kindling and firewood?
  • What steps are you willing to take to eliminate that fuel from your life?
  • What are you willing to do to increase your supply of living water?

 

Structure: Like a Kite String

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Dad and son running in meadow flying kiteA young boy was spending a glorious Saturday afternoon with his Dad. They were flying the new kite that the boy had received for his birthday. The gentle breeze was perfect for launching the kite and keeping it up in the clean, crisp air.  The sun was shining but not brutally hot; a perfect kite flying day.

As the boy let out the line a little bit at a time, the kite flew higher and higher. It was so much fun to see the kite dancing and bobbing in the sunshine! He felt the kite pulling against his hold on the reel. There was no more line to let out! He wanted to see how high his kite could go, but there was no more string. “Daddy,” he pled, “let’s cut the line so the kite can fly higher!”

Dad tried to explain to the boy that if they cut the line the kite would fall. The boy wasn’t buying it. It didn’t make sense! He could feel the kite straining against the reel, pulling the line taught, seemingly trying to go higher than the line would allow. Finally the wise father agreed to cut the line and stood by as his disappointed and confused son sadly watch the kite fall into a tree. The line, the very thing that was holding the kite back, was also what enabled it to fly.

In our lives there are also elements that enable us to fly, but may feel like they are holding us back. They are sometimes called rules, or laws, or commandments. In a more general way, they can be called “structure”.

Examples of Structure

I have learned that in order to have a great day, I need to get to bed early the night before and get up early in the morning. (See D&C 88:124.) Years ago, I stayed up late to try to get everything done. I was so exhausted by the time I got to bed that I woke up late and was still tired.  I wasn’t very productive, and I felt frustrated and overwhelmed. It took a leap of faith to try going to bed early and getting up early, but putting that structure in place in my life has given me productivity and accomplishment I never had before.

I have lived through periods of time when money was very tight. If you don’t have enough money to pay the bills, it is tough to believe that paying tithing could help. Another leap of faith, and willingness to try it and I found that the blessings that came to me from paying tithing far outweighed the apparent shortage of money. I found that I couldn’t afford not to pay tithing. Over time I learned to first eliminate and then stay out of debt. Structure in my financial life has given me peace of mind and freedom that I never had when my money managed me, rather than me managing my money.

I am a compulsive eater. In the days when I ate anything I wanted to, whenever I wanted to, I had to wear clothes much larger than what I wanted to, and my thinking became as compulsive as my eating. A compulsive eater cannot just stop eating, like a drinker can stop drinking, so what I had to do was put structure in place around my eating. I started by writing down everything that I was eating, and figuring out what actually satisfied me. I started planning my meals, including when, what, where, and how much I would eat. When I eat mindfully, according to my plan, to nurture my body with food that is good for me, I am not compulsive, and no longer think obsessively about food. This is what I have called “Planned Abstinence” in another post.

  • What areas of your life feel out of control?
  • What kind of structure could you put in place to help you with these things?
  • Are there any commandments or is there any guidance from Church leaders that pertain to this which you haven’t fully implemented?
  • If you can’t think of anything you haven’t already tried, who could you talk to who might be able to help you come up with some ideas?

 

Failure? – Like a Baby Learning to Walk

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Baby taking first stepPicture yourself playing with a baby who is just learning to walk. Perhaps the baby is an excellent crawler and has learned to pull herself up to a standing position and “cruise” from one piece of furniture to the next. She has never, however, taken a “solo” step – without holding on. As you sit on the floor, separated from her by a few feet, you hold out your arms and encourage her to come to you. You tell her she can do it. You call to her. You encourage her in every way you know how.

She takes one step – maybe two. Then she abruptly sits down. Hard. Tears start to form in her eyes. Which of the following do you say?

  1. “You are such a failure. You will never learn to walk.”
  2. “I know, honey, walking is too hard. Don’t worry. I don’t mind carrying you.”
  3. “Yay! You did it! You took 2 steps all by yourself! You can do it! You can do it again! Come on. Come to me!”

Number 3, of course. You want her to learn to walk. You know she doesn’t know how. But she is ready to learn and anxious to learn, and she doesn’t know that there is anything wrong with not being very good at it yet. She doesn’t cry if you don’t encourage her to feel sorry for herself. She smiles at your encouragement. Any tears that have started have dried up, and she crawls over to the couch, pulls herself up, and tries again.

We may not be learning to walk, but we are children of God figuring out how to do other things that we need to learn, only now we know what failure is, and we try to avoid it at any cost. We don’t want anyone to know if we cannot do something that we think is important. We certainly don’t want anyone to know that we tried and failed.

Do you think your Heavenly Father is standing by with judgmental statements like number one and number two above? Do you think He wants us to give up on things we haven’t mastered yet? Or even things that we haven’t even attempted yet at all? No! He is standing right by us saying, “You can do it! I have confidence in you!” If we, as mortal parents, want our children to succeed, how much more does God, our perfect and eternal Father, want us to succeed!

We need to let go of our fear of failure and recognize it as a stepping stone to a new skill. Failing means we aren’t perfect yet. Failing means we are trying to learn. Failing means we want to grow.

You can do it! I know you can! God knows you can! You know you can. You just need to keep trying and no matter what, DON’T…GIVE…UP!!!

  • What skill do you want to learn or habit do you want to change?
  • Regardless of how many times you have tried and failed, are you willing to try again?
  • Make a plan for learning this new skill. How can you take the Lord up on His promise to help you? (See Moroni 7:33)
  • Solicit the help of others who have been placed by God in your path to help you.
  • Follow through on your plan and don’t give up.

 

Help: Encircled about in the Arms of His Love

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Sometimes, when I feel discouraged and am trying my best to make important changes in my life, I can lose sight of the startling and critical fact that I am not alone.  The Lord is always with me, arms around me, walking my path with me, sustaining and supporting me, carrying me when necessary.  The scriptures abound with confirmation of this.

Isaiah 41:10,13 “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness…For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.”

When I first became aware of this scripture, I pondered how the Lord could hold my right hand. He must be right next to me! Holy cow!  I am standing here, looking at this same incredible mountain that I have to climb, but now He is standing next to me, holding my right hand.  He can do anything!  If He is holding my right hand, together we can do anything!

I began wearing bangle bracelets on my right wrist to remind me always that he is holding my hand.  I still wear them.

Eventually I came across a slightly different picture described in the scriptures. The Lord could still be holding my right hand, but he is also on my left! I am “encircled about in the arms of His love!”  I love that image!

D&C84:88 “…I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.”

2 Nephi 1:15  “… I am encircled about eternally in the arms of his love.”

Doctrine and Covenants 6:20 “…Be faithful and diligent in keeping the commandments of God, and I will encircle thee in the arms of my love.“

Mom helping toddler girl write name on pictureBut what would that look like in my life, I wondered.  A picture came into my mind of me holding a small child.  We are sitting at a table. The child has just drawn a picture – mostly just lines on the page: joyous, exuberant scribbles. Now she wants me to help her write her name.  I don’t do it for her. I hold her gently on my lap, my right hand over hers as she holds the crayon. Together we slowly and carefully write her name on her picture.  She is so proud!  And then, done with my help, she hops off my lap and is on to other things. Perhaps that is how Christ has me encircled in the arms of His love. When I am willing to come to Him for help, he gently cradles me, lovingly reaches around me and guides me to be able to do all things that he would like me to do.

 Moroni 7:33 “And Christ hath said: If ye will have faith in me ye shall have power to do whatsoever thing is expedient in me.”

There is nothing too small to ask for His help with.  Am I having trouble getting to bed early or getting to sleep or getting up early or reading my scriptures or getting to work on time or finding a job or magnifying my calling or dealing with stress or changing my behavior or being kind to my family or giving up my addiction?  Those things are all “expedient in [Him].” I pray for the desire and the willingness to walk the Lord’s path for me always; to come to Him for His help whenever I need it; to be grateful for his power, strength, gifts, talents, and abilities; to always remember that I am encircled about in the arms of His love, and that he is right next to me. I am never alone.

  • Can you image the Lord being right next to you, holding your hand?
  • How would that change your life?
  • What might you be able to do with His guidance that you are having trouble doing now?
  • Are you willing to turn to Him for His help?

 

Developing Humility

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Walking the humility tightropeDeveloping humility is like learning to walk a high wire.  We have to maintain balance.  We fall to the “pride” side when we do not take full responsibility for our mistakes and shortcomings, fail to acknowledge our guilt, and try to shift blame to others.  We fall to the “self-critical” side when we take on guilt and shame that we didn’t earn and don’t deserve.

Just like a tightrope walker in the circus, we can walk the high wire successfully by using a rod to help keep us balanced. For me the rod is my commitment to fully embrace the Atonement and apply it in my life. In order to do this, I study scriptures, ponder, pray and meditate, take a daily inventory of my shortcomings and turn to the Lord for help to make amends as needed and overcome my weaknesses. The more time and effort I put into these activities each day, the longer my rod becomes.  The longer my rod, the easier it is for me to traverse the wire and develop true humility.

  • Can you think of a time when you have fallen to the “pride” side of humility?
  • Can you think of a time when you have fallen to the “self-critical” side?
  • What are you willing to do to lengthen your balancing rod?

 

Focus: Riding through the Boulders

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Space between BouldersMountain biking is a sport in which people ride special bikes designed to handle rough terrain—often in areas without roads.  Sometimes they ride down steep hills littered with rocks and boulders.

I once heard a story about a man who wanted to learn to mountain bike.  He had the good fortune to be invited to join a group of experienced bikers for a day.  As he attempted to negotiate a steep field of boulders, he kept hitting the rocks—risking both his bike and his body—and creating a hazard for other riders.  Finally the leader of the group took him aside and asked him what he was looking at as he rode down the hill.

“The boulders!” the man exclaimed. “What do you think?”

“Ah,” replied the leader. “That is your problem. You need to focus on the spaces between the rocks!”

  • What are the boulders in your life right now?
  • Are you focusing on the boulders or the spaces in your life?
  • Write about the spaces. What do they look like?
  • Are you willing to focus on the spaces?
  • What can you do to keep yourself focused on the spaces and not the rocks?

 

Growth: Learning to Sandbag or Moving to Higher Ground

Metaphor, Working the Program,

House on the seashoreSuppose my home is on the coast. There are beautiful views of the ocean.  I enjoy the sea breezes. I love hearing and watching the gulls. I have lived there a long time and I am comfortable there. The only problem is that my home is subject to repeated floods, and they seem to be getting more frequent. The floods make a mess! Sometimes I have to clean furniture and replace carpet. Other times it is worse and I have to replace furniture and appliances and tear out wallboard and repaint.

The first few times I was surprised and totally unprepared for the flooding. Now when I find out that a storm is coming I take precautions, and sometimes I succeed in avoiding damage from the flood.  That is growth. I move furniture and boxes out of harm’s way. I board up the windows. I start filling sandbags from a big pile of sand in my backyard and build a sandbag wall to protect my home.  Often my friends come over to help me. I have become an excellent sandbag engineer. But sandbagging doesn’t always work.  It depends on the storm.

At some point, when I become tired of sandbagging, repainting, replacing and otherwise dealing with the aftermath of the flooding, I may decide that it is time to rebuild on higher ground. I might just be able to find a spot that still gives me the view and the sea breeze and the gulls, without the floods.  I may feel sad to leave my little house. Perhaps I have great memories there and neighbors I enjoy. But the time may come that the pain of the repeated flooding is worse than the pain of moving and I become willing to do it. That is an indication of growth.

Sometimes our personal lives resemble my house on the coast.  The same circumstances or events keep happening to us over and over again. We may learn to better handle the events, perhaps by turning them over to God.  But sometimes we may need to make a significant change so that we are no longer subject to those events.

On page 7 of He Did Deliver Me from Bondage, Colleen Harrison says, “I am familiar with a saying: When the pain of the problem gets worse than the pain of the solution we’ll be ready to change.” Moving to higher ground may be painful, but when the pain of continual recurrent flooding becomes worse than the pain of moving, we will become willing to make the move.

  • What does the flooding represent in your life?
  • How have you been handling it?
  • Are you ready to “move to higher ground” (look for a better solution)?
  • What options do you have?
  • What are you willing to do?
  • When will you do it?

 

 

Receiving Gifts

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Find, open, and embrace your gifts from God.

Just as we give one another gifts to express our love and/or appreciation, God gives us gifts to share his love for us. When someone we love gives us a gift, thoughtfully chosen and carefully wrapped, it brings us joy. We may look at the shape of the box, weigh it in our hands, shake it and listen for clues as to what it might be. We remove the wrapping—sometimes slowly and carefully, sometimes exuberantly—and take out the gift. We touch it, feel it, smell it, admire it and cherish it. If it is something to wear, we hold it up, maybe even try it on. If it is a book, we carefully open it, turn the first few pages, read any note that may have been written inside, look at the table of contents. If it is something we can use—a tool or an appliance, art or craft supplies—we take it out and hold it, think about what we can do with it, create with it, how we can use it to express ourselves. We thank the giver and express our appreciation for their thoughtfulness. Both giver and receiver feel joy when a gift is given in love and received with gratitude.

How much enjoyment would we feel if we just admired the wrapped gift and never opened it? How would the giver feel? What if we opened it and thanked the giver but never used it? What if we didn’t even notice the giver standing before us, gift in hand?

God bestows upon us blessings and gifts every day. Some gifts are small and easy to miss in the busyness of life. A beautiful sunset, a call from an old friend, a happy memory, for example. Some are important aspects of who we are, but could be taken for granted, such as the gift of compassion, or discernment, or having someone in our lives who loves us unconditionally. Do we receive and appreciate His gifts or leave them lying by the wayside? Do we open them with eagerness and awe, think about how we can use them, explore them, try them on, touch, feel, smell, admire and cherish them?

How much joy do we forego when, because we are distracted, or in a mistaken belief that we are somehow not worthy to receive them, we miss the blessings and gifts, large and small, our loving Father pours out upon us each day? What could we create; how could we bless the lives of others if we would receive and embrace the gifts He has so carefully chosen for us?

  • What are your gifts? If you don’t know, how can you find out?
  • What will you do to discover and embrace them?

Please share your thoughts about this post by commenting below.

Related Posts: Low-hanging Spiritual Fruit

Why Are We Here?

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We, (that part of ourselves that contains our essence, which existed before our bodies were created and will exist after our bodies are gone) were happy and loved wherever we lived before we came to this earth. How do I know? Look at an infant. Watch the spontaneous demonstration of love and affection and joy that emanate from a child who has not been abused. How is it that a baby, in its brief physical existence, somehow innately knows how to love and be loved? I think we bring love with us when we come to earth, and we keep it unless others take it away from us in one way or another.

So, if we were happy where we were, but this mortal life can cause us pain and sorrow, why did we come here? We came to learn and to grow. We came to spread our wings and to fly. We came to find and to reach our full potential in this life, and to develop the skills we will need to magnify our opportunities in eternal life.

This earth life is much like going away to college or to the military. For most of us, home was safe and secure. We were loved there. We had friends, loved ones, places and institutions we were comfortable with. Yet we knew that we could do and be more. We needed to go to an unfamiliar place to learn to walk in faith and to choose for ourselves how to live and who we wanted to be. We left home and struck out on our own.

Yes, sometimes we found a particular course difficult. We may have even failed one or two, but we enjoyed many that forced us to stretch and to grow and to develop our skills, talents and abilities. When we felt discouraged about a failure or had good news to share, we “phoned home,” knowing that we would find help and support and acceptance there. So, too, we can now “phone” our eternal home – pray and ponder – and receive help, support, acceptance, and love.

We are here to find our callings, to discover our potential, to grow, and to reach beyond our current limitations so that when we return to the spiritual home we once left, we will be prepared to fulfill our eternal destiny.

  • What is your life’s calling?
  • If you know, what are you doing to magnify it?
  • If you don’t know, what are you doing to discover it?
  • What more can you do?

 

Tuning In

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Transistor RadioI have an old battery operated transistor radio I use sometimes when I go for a walk. When it is not quite tuned in to the correct frequency, I can hear some of what is being said, but it may fade in and out, there may be static and sometimes I can hear country music or preaching from another station in the background. I try to avoid changing the station at all because it is so hard to get it to exactly the right spot!  Sometimes, in order to be sure I am tuned in to the right station, I take it over to another radio that I know is correct and turn them both on at the same time.

My heart is like a radio, but it receives the voice of my Savior instead of receiving a radio broadcast.  The signal that carries the Savior’s voice is the Holy Ghost.  This concept is clearly taught in Doctrine and Covenants 8:2, “Yea, behold, I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart.” (See also Moses 5:9 and Moroni 8:7-9). This spiritual signal is always broadcasting, just like a radio station, but sometimes I get busy and caught up in the world. At these times I cannot hear the Lord’s voice because I am either not listening at all or not tuned in very well.

Sometimes I can hardly hear because of the “background noise” in my life. This includes the stresses of my day-to-day life and Satan’s lies. I am especially susceptible to the ones that include “if only,” “someday,” “should,” and “I can eat just one – it will make me feel better.”  I create static for myself when I compare myself to others. I have written in a previous post about the “committee in my head”. Those voices sometimes shout so loudly that they would drown out anything!

I want so much to be able to hear the voice of love, harmony and peace that speaks to me when I tune in to the right frequency and reduce or eliminate the background noise. I have had to learn this lesson through trial, error and practice.  First, I have to notice when I am not in tune with the Spirit, and not hearing the Lord’s voice. Second, I have to reawaken my desire to hear it. Third, I have to do what is necessary to get tuned in.

I take an honest look at my life – an inventory. I ask myself if I have any self-limiting beliefs or habits that are creating static. Is there anything I need to change to be able to hear His voice?

I have discovered that listening to the right kind of music can help me tune in as much as listening to the wrong kind can interfere. For me, music with words is distracting but certain kinds of instrumental music – Native American flute for example – can help me hear the still small voice of the Spirit.

I have to be willing to believe that the Savior really loves me unconditionally and wants to communicate with me in order to hear His voice. If I don’t turn on my spiritual radio because I am afraid that nothing is being broadcast, I won’t hear the message no matter how good it is.

Just as I sometimes take my little transistor radio over to one that I know is on the right station, I have learned to recognize the Savior’s voice by reading His words in the scriptures and listening to the prophets when He speaks to me through them.

Tuning in is quite a bit of work, but well worth the effort.  Staying tuned in is easier than getting tuned in.  I try to avoid changing the station at all.

  • Are you in tune?
  • Do you need to eliminate static or fine tune your receiver?
  • What actions are you willing to take to help you get and stay in tune so you can better receive personal revelation through the Spirit?

 

Changing Channels

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Changing ChannelsOh, how often I have wished that I could wave a magic wand and remove my own shortcomings and character defects. Changing can be so hard! Over the years I have observed that my habits and behaviors are like water flowing down the side of a hill.  The water will find the path of least resistance and as it flows, the channel it runs through gets deeper and wider.  The longer the water flows down that channel the deeper it becomes and the harder it is to change. When something triggers me emotionally my behavior immediately starts running down those old familiar paths before I even have a chance to realize what has happened. I have found that changing the channel – creating new and better habits and behaviors – requires action of three different sorts.  First of all, I have to become willing to let go of the old behavior, and turn it over to the Lord. Secondly, I have to put up a dam that prevents the water from starting to flow down the familiar channel and finally, I have to dig a new channel based on the direction I receive from the Lord. Eventually the new channel becomes deep enough and wide enough that my behavior immediately goes down the new, more productive path when something happens.

The Dam

Just like putting up a dam is necessary to prevent the water from going down the old channel, the first thing I need to do to eliminate an old, bad habit is to recognize it as undesirable and make a decision to stop it.  That decision is not enough to change my behavior, but without that decision I don’t have a chance. I need to think about the pattern, write about it, consider what I get out of it and why I go there.  I write about the consequences of it and why I don’t want to do it anymore. I make a decision and a commitment – to myself, to the Lord, and to another person – that I will not go down that path anymore. This commitment is the dam.

Digging the New Channel

If all I do is put up a dam without digging a new channel – creating a new pathway for the water (my behavior) to flow – the next time I am triggered I will create a flood, a big puddle, or a mess. Nature abhors a vacuum. I need to prayerfully decide what new behavior will work better for me, and learn how to do it.  Again, for me, this involves writing.  I write about my options – everything I can think of.  I ask my sponsor and others who have good recovery for their ideas. I consider what feels comfortable for me; what new behavior I can see myself using in the situation instead of the old ones I am trying to change. I pray for a confirmation that this is the right channel to dig, and then I start digging (doing the footwork)! I write out a plan and ask the Lord to confirm it. I read and reread it every day.  I commit to it – to myself, the Lord, and other people. I take inventory throughout the day to see if I need a course correction. I write about and thank the Lord every day for my progress.  It is an iterative process.  If it isn’t working perfectly, I try to figure out why and make a change to the plan. I know the Lord wants me to become more like Him and will give me the power I need to do it, if I will have faith in Him. (See Moroni 7:33)

  • Do you have any old habits or behaviors that don’t serve you well? What are they?
  • Are you willing to let them go?
  • What new channels would you like to dig? Are you willing to do the footwork?

Please share your thoughts about this post by commenting below.

 

Love: The Economy of God

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Our economy works because people trade goods and services for pieces of paper that have numbers and pictures on them. We call these pieces of paper “money”. When an employer pays a worker, the dollar the worker receives passes through many hands. The worker buys food at the grocery store. The grocery store pays the wholesaler. The wholesaler pays their employee. That person makes their mortgage payment. You get the idea.

When people are afraid to spend their money, the economy begins to go into a recession. The worker spends less at the grocery store; the grocer buys less from the wholesaler. The wholesaler is selling less so he doesn’t pay as much out in wages, and so forth. If the fear and the cycle get bad enough, the economy comes to a screeching halt, and the recession becomes a depression.

God also has an economy, but the currency isn’t money; it is love, often expressed in service. When people in a community need help and allow others to serve them, God’s economy of love grows. People feel an abundance of love, both from serving and from being served, and they desire to serve others. Sarah’s lawn needs to be mowed, and her neighbor Alan does it while doing his own. Alan loses his job, and Beatrice tells him about an opportunity where she works. Beatrice has a wayward son, and Roger, who has walked that path before and knows where it leads extends a hand of friendship to him. Roger has health problems, and Sarah prays for him. Love “goes around and comes around.”

On the other hand, when fear causes people to refuse help, they don’t give anyone else an opportunity to serve. This can happen because they are embarrassed or they “don’t want to be beholden” to anyone, or they think that it is a sign of failure or weakness if they are not completely self-sufficient.  This situation can bring the economy of God to a screeching halt. When no one is willing to receive service, no one can give it which leads to a different kind of depression.

  • What kinds of service are you able to give?
  • Do you take the opportunity to do so?
  • What kinds of service are you willing to receive?
  • Is there something you would like the Lord to help you with?
  • Most of the time he provides help through others, rather than directly. Are you willing to receive the help you need through the people around you?

 

Growth: Making Better Choices

Metaphor

This poem by Portia Nelson has been helpful to me in understanding the process of change and growth, and giving me a visual image of learning to make better choices.

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
from  There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery
by Portia Nelson

I
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost … I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.

II
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

III
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

IV
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

V
I walk down another street.

Growth: Life is Like a Mountain Road

Metaphor

Mountain RoadSome people believe that life is a journey over continually unfamiliar territory.  We start at “point A,” wherever we are now, and are trying to get to “point B” off in the distance somewhere.  Sometimes the road is straight and sometimes it curves.  Sometimes it is hard and at other times easy, but the one constant is that we have never passed this way before, and thus are constantly challenged by things we are unfamiliar with.

I believe that the journey of life is more accurately compared to a road that circles a mountain in an upward spiral, climbing toward the top.  As we follow the road up the mountain, around each bend in the road we find familiar scenery, things we have faced before in some form or other.  It is true that the actual section of the road we are traveling may be unfamiliar, but it is like things we have done before.  We learn from our experience and our mistakes and from our victories and accomplishments.  We learn that we can ford the rivers and traverse the ravines that cross our path.

Each time we come around again to a familiar scene, we find that we have gained perspective; we have moved up the mountain and have a better view than we had the last time we passed this point. Sometimes the trip around has been relatively easy and we may not have gained much elevation over our previous visit. We have experienced some growth. At other times the journey has been a challenge; the road has been steep and there may have been rocks, boulders and potholes scattered along the way.  After such a segment in our journey we often find that our perspective has increased greatly and our understanding as well. We have experienced significant growth.

So long as we continue to climb, we will continue to grow and be rewarded with spectacular views and increased understanding.  However, if we get stuck – if we refuse to continue the journey because it seems too hard – we deprive ourselves of the rewards that await us, both along the way, and when we reach the summit.  The challenge is to remain focused on the summit – the objective of our journey – and also to enjoy the views and accomplishments along the way.

  • What “familiar scenery” do you keep coming to in your life?
  • How have you grown in wisdom or ability between visits?
  • How steep has your road been?
  • Do you regret having chosen an easy path or to have stopped climbing at some point?
  • Are you willing to choose a fork in the road that will help you grow more even if it is a steeper climb? What might that look like?
  • What have been the rewards you have received for continuing the climb and not giving up when it gets hard?

Please share your thoughts about this post by commenting below.

Related Posts: Progress – Climbing through the clouds, Persistence – Doing the Footwork, Failure? – Like a Baby Learning to Walk, Focus: Riding through the Boulders