Monthly Archives: March 2015

Do the Work – Claim What is Yours

Journal Entry, , ,

From My JournalGood morning, my sweet daughter. I love you. You are precious unto me. You can have a good and productive day today; it is your choice. Make a decision and a commitment that you will do it, and follow through. I will give you the power to do it, but you must choose to use it.

I love you more than you can comprehend. Fear nothing. You are a beloved and blessed daughter of God; a child of Royalty. If you can imagine it and are willing to work for it, you can accomplish it, whatever it is. Would you like to publish a series of books? Do the work. Would you like to be on the speaking circuit? Do the work. Would you like to have a comfortable retirement? Do the work. Would you like to have a great marriage? Do the work. Would you like to have a great relationship with your children? Do the work.

These are all righteous desires of your heart. I will give you the power to do and accomplish them, because you walk in faith and these righteous desires of your heart are expedient unto me (Moroni 7:33), but you must do the work. I will not give these things to you on a silver platter; then they would be meaningless to you. You must do the work in order to appreciate the value and effort that go into accomplishing them. But all the effort in the world would not help you reach these goals without the enabling power of the Atonement which I give unto you because you walk in faith and ask for it.

I love you infinitely more than you can comprehend. All that I have is yours. Claim it.

Fear not. Go in peace. All will be well. Amen.

  • What are the righteous desires of your heart?
  • Have you asked the Lord if these desires are expedient unto Him?
  • What is the work you must do to achieve them?
  • Have you asked the Lord to give you His power, the power of the Atonement, to help you achieve your goals?
  • What will you do today to begin to claim what is yours?

(Note: Click here to learn more about my prayer journal.)

Please share your thoughts about this post by commenting below.

Related Posts: Persistence – Doing the Footwork, Problem Solving Flowchart, Love: The Power of the Universe, Turn Away from Temptation

Overcoming Perfectionism: the “Good Enough” Principle

Working the Program,

Image of ocean with rocks at sunset, saying "Maybe it's already GOOD ENOUGH?"I may be living in a state of recovery, but that does not mean that I no longer have shortcomings or character defects. Something I still struggle with is a tendency towards perfectionism, just like many people in recovery. Of course, I don’t want to think of myself as a perfectionist, and there are many aspects of my life in which I am not one. But every now and then I become aware of sneaky, subtle perfectionism in some aspect of my life.

I have found a way to let go of this paralyzing shortcoming, when I find myself obsessing over something, or spending way too much time on it because I want it to be perfect. I ask myself this question: “Is it good enough?” I call this the “Good Enough” principle.

Let’s say I am taking a class. I have a solid “A,” an average of 95% and there is no way I could possibly end up with a “B” in the class. I have one project left and all I have to do is pass to keep my “A.” Of course I am not the kind of person to completely slack off and do “C” or “D” work. But really, if I have put in 10 hours, I know it is worth at least a “B” in its present form, and I have lots of other responsibilities that demand my time, it is Good Enough! I do not need to put another 5 hours into getting it from a “B” to an “A”. I already know I will get an “A” in the class.

Here is another example. I am in charge of decorations for an event at Church. I have a group of people who are helping me. I have gotten ideas from everyone, have decided on a theme and have identified who needs to bring what in order to make it happen. Everyone says it is going to be wonderful. I happen to be checking Pinterest and I find the cutest idea! It is so awesome! Everyone is going to be blown away by it. It will only require two extra committee work meetings ahead of time (or 20 hours on my part) to assemble the decorations and I will have to spend an extra $30 out of my pocket on materials because we don’t have any extra budget. STOP! Apply the Good Enough principle. No one will ever know about the cute idea we did not use. The approach we already have in place will be just fine.

I am a grateful, recovering compulsive over-eater. When I first became willing to write down my food, I asked people at my 12-Step meeting what they used to plan and record their food. Most just used an empty notebook. That did not seem sufficiently structured for me. I used desktop publishing software to design a pocket sized booklet that I could use to both plan and record my food. I created a self-publishing company, got ISBN numbers from Bowker, and actually listed it for sale on Amazon. I am not kidding! Do you think, maybe, I didn’t understand the GOOD ENOUGH principle? (I actually sold about a dozen of them.)

I have found this tendency to be a perfectionist to be particularly problematic for me and my sponsees when it comes to doing a Fourth Step inventory. I can’t tell you how many conversations I have had with people regarding exactly how to do an inventory. The truth is that how you do your inventory is not as important as that you do your inventory. First of all, you will get a chance to do it again the next time around. Secondly it is actually good to do it in a variety of ways over time to help you explore different aspects of your life. So just pray for guidance, pick an approach, and do it! It will be Good Enough!

  • What have you been procrastinating about or wasting time on because you want it to be perfect?
  • Is it already or could it relatively easily be made GOOD ENOUGH?
  • What will you do today to move forward, applying the GOOD ENOUGH principle?

Please share your thoughts about this post by commenting below.

Related posts: Lack of Self-Discipline or Perfectionism?, One Day At A Time Management, The Quest for Perfection – Reflecting on Genesis 17:1

 

Relationships: Avoid the Gently Diverging Path

Journal Entry

Image: Two diverging paths in a park. In the early days of our marriage, when my husband and I drove someplace together, we spent that time in conversation, or in silent companionship. We enjoyed being together, and without realizing it, we were strengthening our relationship simply by spending quality time together. We did not feel a need to keep the conversation going. It was perfectly comfortable for us simply to be together. We enjoyed that shared time, regardless of how we spent it.

Lately I have become aware that I often spend that time on my smartphone, checking email, Facebook, or playing games while my husband drives. It is not that we don’t have anything to talk about anymore. We do talk; about all kinds of things. Neither is it that I am bored. It is the “pull” of the technology. “I am here to entertain you,” it whispers. “You need to know what is going on!” it calls.

It is a distraction. It is vying for my attention and gently tempting me to go down a path that separates me from my husband. It isn’t that there is anything wrong with the things I do on my phone. It is just that I am missing an opportunity to strengthen my relationship with him.

Today I realized that I have allowed the same thing to happen in my relationship with the Lord. I have a good relationship with Him; a solid relationship. I think of Him often throughout my day. I turn to Him when I need help. I thank Him when I feel blessed. I trust Him to guide me. When I make time to write my prayer, study my scriptures, and work on my program everyday, I am focusing on my relationship with Him. When I let other things distract me, so that I don’t have time to spend specifically with Him, I slowly feel a distance growing between us, over time. It does not happen right away. Missing one day doesn’t create a gulf between us. It is just that my footsteps are ever so slightly further away from Him as we walk until one day I look up and realize that I am no longer walking right by His side. And then I have to figure out how to get back.

There is no higher priority for me than my relationships with the two most important people in my life: the Lord and my husband. So I am taking action today to let go of the distractions that have put me on the gently diverging path.

  • Is there something distracting you from the important relationships in your life?
  • What could you do differently to keep you focused better on those relationships?
  • What are you willing to do today to improve those relationships?

Please share your thoughts about this post by commenting below.

 

Fear: the Enemy of Progress and Recovery

Working the Program, , , ,

Blue sky with wispy clouds; "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7.Among the 12 Steps, there are a few that can make us feel so fearful or overwhelmed that we may choose to stop our forward motion rather than have to work those steps. Step 4, in which we take a searching and fearless moral inventory is one of them. So is Step 5, when we share that inventory with another person. Step 9, in which we actually reach out to those we have harmed, ask for their forgiveness and make amends to them is so daunting that people often get “stuck” in step 8, afraid to move on.

The paradox is that each of these steps, once taken, produces feelings of growth, love, acceptance and peace far stronger than the fear felt while contemplating the step. As we work the steps, however, hearing that these feelings are waiting for us on the other side of the work doesn’t always motivate us sufficiently to face the fear.

Fear is one of the main reasons we don’t progress in the steps and that we get stuck in our addictions. Fear is, for many, the main reason we indulge in our addictions in the first place!

The scriptures clearly tell us that fear does not come from the Lord. In 2 Timothy 1:7 we find, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” If God does not give us the spirit of fear, then who does?  Satan. And we willingly accept this gift from our Adversary, and embrace it. As a “natural man” (or woman) we are susceptible to fear.

What does this scripture tell us that the Lord gives us instead of fear? He gives us the spirit of power—the power of the Lord, the power of the Atonement—to use to do His will. We are given the spirit of love, which is the power by which the universe was created. And finally, we are given the spirit of a sound mind: peace, calmness and serenity.

For some reason we are much more hesitant to receive the gifts of power, love and a sound mind from the Lord than we are to receive the gift of fear from the Adversary. (See my post on Receiving Gifts.)

What do we need to do to be able to receive these good gifts? We must put off the “natural man” and become a “saint”—a child of God.

“For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.” (Moroni 3:19)

Make a decision to put aside fear—to refuse to accept that gift from Satan—and to trust the Lord and receive His gifts. Plunge ahead in your program with the help of your sponsor and other support people. You can do this. The Steps will work for you. You do not need to walk in fear. You are a son or daughter of God, designed and created by Him. He will help you achieve the recovery you deserve so that you can become a more useful and valiant servant as you mend the fences you have broken, and share the gift of recovery with those around you.

  • What fears are preventing you from making progress in the steps or anything else?
  • What do you believe is the source of your fear?
  • Are you willing to set aside your fear and trust the Lord to lead you forward?
  • What action are you willing to take today to move forward, walking in faith rather than fear?