Tag Archives: Meetings

Why Recovery Stories are Important

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Knowledge lodges in my mind. Stories bind it in my heart.

Sometimes we study the 12 Steps but don’t seem to be able to find recovery. It may not be because we don’t understand the Steps. Rather, it might be because we haven’t figured out how to apply the steps in our lives. In reality, the 12 Steps are neither more nor less than a way of learning about and applying the power of the Atonement in our lives. Learning about the Atonement and the 12 Steps is important, but applying them in our lives is more important. One way to do this is by listening to the recovery stories of others.

I have an opportunity to hear these stories when I attend 12 Step meetings. The more meetings I go to, the more opportunities I have to hear people tell how they apply the Steps in their lives on a daily basis. The recovery stories I hear at meetings give me ideas about how I can integrate the 12 Steps in my daily life and live in a state of recovery.

Another way to hear recovery stories is to listen to the podcasts and videos the Church has made available on their website. For example:

There are also stories of how people have seen the 12 Steps work in their lives in program literature from other fellowships.The basic texts of many of the 12 Step fellowships have recovery stories at the back of the book. For example:

  • Alcoholics Anonymous (The Big Book)
  • Overeaters Anonymous (The Brown Book)
  • Narcotics Anonymous Basic Text (6th Edition)

There are also monthly magazines that contain recovery stories:

  • Alcoholics Anonymous Grapevine Magazine (subscription required to access most content)
  • Overeaters Anonymous Lifeline magazine (free online in PDF format)
  • The NA Way magazine (free online in PDF format)

Parables and metaphors are also stories. The Savior used them when he taught because it helped those who were spiritually prepared to better understand and apply the principle he was talking about. Many of my blog posts contain metaphors that have come as I have searched for a way to explain a Step or concept to someone or as the Lord has explained one to me!

Knowledge lodges in the mind. Stories bind it in the heart.

  • What recovery stories have you read or heard that help you apply the Steps to your life?
  • What story can you share with others about living in recovery or applying the Steps?
  • What will you do today to help yourself or others to find ways to apply the Atonement?

Please share your thoughts about this post or other resources you would recommend by commenting below.

Related Posts: In the right hand column of this page, under the heading “Categories,” click on “Metaphor” to find stories that might help you live in a state of recovery.

 

 

Creating the Fabric of Life – Checking the Pattern

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When creating the fabric of life, check the pattern often. (image)As I crochet, I frequently look back at my work. It gives me pleasure to watch the fabric grow, stitch by stitch, row by row. Sometimes I notice that I made a mistake. I messed up the pattern or missed a stitch. Because I look back regularly, I rarely have to rip very far to fix the errors. But occasionally I do notice something I somehow missed in a previous row. Then I have a decision to make. I can rip out everything I have done since, and fix the error, or I can accept that it is part of my fabric and let it go.

It occurred to me the other day that this is very much like living in a state of recovery. I check my life regularly (daily inventory – Step 10), looking back from time to time during the day. If I messed up I can fix it pretty easily. Even better, if I pay attention to the pattern and mindfully try to execute it to the best of my ability as I go along, I have less to fix! Occasionally my eyes are opened and I see a flaw that may have happened some time ago. Generally, this is harder to repair than something that happened today. I may have to use steps 4 through 9 to deal with that kind of mistake or shortcoming.

I am so glad to have the steps to help me improve/repair my life and my relationships. However, even if I do use those tools, I may not be able to completely erase the problem. I do the best I can and then accept that what remains is part of the fabric of my life. I let it go.

Sometimes when I am looking for a new crochet project I find a pattern that looks awesome, but difficult. It may use stitches that are new to me or the instructions may not be clear to me when I read them. I re-read the pattern several times. I try to follow the directions. Sometimes I get pretty far into it before I figure out that I must be doing something wrong because it isn’t turning out like the picture. I could just give up. That has happened. But if it is important to me, if I just feel called to make that pattern, there is help available. Sometimes there is someone at a yarn shop who can help me figure out the directions. I can post in an online group asking for help from someone who has already made that pattern. With email and websites I can contact the person who designed the pattern to get their help in figuring out what I am doing wrong and get on the right track.

The same process occurs in the creation of the fabric of my life. From time to time I feel inspired to try something new, different, and perhaps difficult. If it doesn’t go well, despite my best efforts, I could give up. That has happened. But if it is important to me, if I just feel called to do it, there is help available. I can talk to my Bishop or my sponsor. I can attend a 12-Step meeting and ask others with recovery for their ideas. And most importantly, I can reach out to the Designer of my life, my Savior, and ask for His help in figuring out what I am doing wrong and how to get on the right track.

  • What do you do to monitor the fabric of your life and make corrections quickly?
  • Write about how you can apply this metaphor to your life.
  • What are you willing to do today to clean up your mistakes as you go or repair a mistake from your past?

Please share your thoughts about this post by commenting below.

Related Posts: Some Patterns Cause Us to Stumble, Others Help Us Build, Learning Life Skills – Your Personal Tutor

 

Some Patterns Cause Us to Stumble, Others Help Us Build

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Some patterns cause us to stumble while others help us to build.I have been working the 12 Steps since 1999. I actually started going to meetings in 1991, but didn’t get a sponsor and start working the program for eight years. Even in those early years, as I went to meetings week after week, I heard people talk about what helped them find sobriety and serenity, and what caused them to stumble. As I have listened to others, and as I have worked the Steps myself, I have gained an understanding of the importance of looking for patterns – patterns that help me grow as well as patterns that undermine my recovery. I have learned to look for them, analyze them, and use them to my advantage.

Patterns in Practice

The first time I became aware of the importance of a pattern was when I finally became willing to start recording the food I ate. It was the first change I became willing to make in my life as a result of my participation in the 12 Step program. I wasn’t willing to change how I ate at that point or tell anyone else what I was eating, and I certainly wasn’t willing to plan my food, but I decided that I was willing to record what I was eating.

Two things began to happen when I started to collect data on what I was eating. First of all, I started to lose weight. Why? Because I found that I had been eating mindlessly – picking up a handful of something every time I passed through the kitchen. When I committed to writing down every bite that went into my mouth, I discovered that some of the food I had been eating just wasn’t worth the effort it took to write it down! So the mindless snacking was cut way back.

The second thing was that I started to notice patterns. I could eat lunch on one day, and eat a different lunch the next day, both of which contained approximately the same number of servings from the same food groups, and find that I was satisfied when I finished one lunch but still wanted to eat more after I finished the other. As I continued to record what I ate, a pattern emerged. My satisfaction level was controlled not simply by how much I ate, or what kinds of foods I ate. The most important factor in determining whether I would be satisfied was texture – specifically crunch! If I didn’t get enough crunch in a meal, I wanted to continue eating. As soon as I came to that realization, I started keeping crunchy foods in the house and I found that I could eat less, be satisfied, and lose more weight!

Looking for patterns in an inventory

One of the objectives I have when receiving someone’s 5th step inventory, is to help them identify a list of shortcomings and character defects they can use as input to Step 6. As I listen to the person share their inventory, I make note of patterns I hear. Are they using certain words repeatedly? Does the same kind of thing keep happening to them? These patterns usually point to a shortcoming or character defect that I jot down. When they are done sharing their inventory I ask them to look back over it and identify any patterns they can find, and come up with their own list of shortcomings. Then we compare lists and talk about what they think they need to become willing to turn over to God as they embark on Step 6.

Dailies

The use of patterns I mentioned so far is for taking a look at past behavior and understanding it better. Patterns can also help us create healthier and more effective ways of living. In the program I often hear people talk about “the dailies.” This is a set of activities they do every day to help them maintain sobriety and happiness. Here are some of the dailies that help me live a life of recovery:

Scripture Study

At one time in my life I heard people talk about the importance of daily scripture study. I just couldn’t seem to find time to do it. Finally, I made a decision to get up before my children, very early in the morning, and try to establish a pattern of daily scripture study and prayer. I was successful and it made a big difference in my life.

Prayer

I try to write my morning prayer every day. That is a part of my “dailies.” Written prayer helps me “tune in” to the right frequency to connect with the Lord all day long.

Exercise

My husband and I walk each morning. It is good for our health and good for our relationship. It also gets our day off to a good start. This is a pattern that helps me in my life.

Long-time readers will know that I believe structure is a very important aspect of living a sober and successful life. Collecting data to analyze and looking for self-limiting patterns helps me to identify things I need to change. Establishing recovery-promoting patterns helps me put a framework in place to allow the Lord to change me from within so that I can live my best life.

Please share your thoughts about this post by commenting below.

Related Posts:

Working One Step at a Time, Tools: Quality Prayer, Structure: Like a Kite String, Tuning In

Staying Abstinent: Using the Tools – Part 1

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Staying Abstinent by Using the Tools of the ProgramWhen I am stressed, I have a tendency to engage in behaviors that will relieve my stress. Duh! I wrote recently about how turning to those behaviors instead of the Lord can be like putting other gods before Him. So what can I do to help relieve my stress while staying abstinent from my addiction? What does it look like to turn to the Lord instead of those other “gods?” I have a number of tools that I have learned about from various 12-Step fellowships over the years, and some that I have found on my own. I am planning to write individual posts on some of the tools, but here is a partial list of the ones I have found most useful. My next post will have the second half of the list.

Prayer and Meditation

The first and most obvious tool is prayer and meditation.  If my boss is chewing me out or someone is being rude to me I can, in that moment, say a little prayer in my heart and ask the Lord to take away my anger or frustration and tell me how to proceed.  I can ask Him to help me see the other person through His eyes.  If someone in my family has pushed me to the breaking point and I know that I am about to do or say something that I will regret, I can go to my room, get on my knees and ask the Lord to take my burden, strengthen me to be able to bear it, or give me guidance. Sometimes when I do this, I tell Him that I am going to remain there, on my knees, until the feeling, craving, etc. is lifted. It is scary to put my faith on the line like that, but the Lord has always come through for me, although on occasion my knees start to hurt while I am waiting.

Meetings

Going to a 12-Step meeting is an awesome way to remove myself from temptation and recharge my spiritual batteries. In meetings I can sometimes hear the Lord’s guidance to me through the voice of another person when my own spiritual ears are too clogged with the wax of hopelessness or pride to be able to receive personal revelation. I can serve others by what I say, or just by giving someone a hug or a smile. I can receive the same kind of service myself. I always feel closer to the Lord when I go to a meeting. If there is no meeting available, I can go to the ARP website and listen to a podcast of a meeting.

Service

Attending a meeting is one form of service. I won’t even attempt to list all the other opportunities to serve, but here are some ideas.  Reach out to someone who might need it, donate time, do family history work, do temple work, take a new mom’s toddler to the park for an hour, mow someone’s lawn. Any kind of service that is given in Christ-like love can get me outside of myself and my own problems and bring me blessings and a new attitude. But I need to be careful that there are no strings attached to my service; that I am not shaming, throwing guilt, trying to control someone, or attempting to take someone’s agency as I serve.

Sponsorship

Sponsoring someone, or being a support person to someone within the ARP program, is an awesome form of service.  As I sponsor I find myself prompted to say things which are just as important for me to be reminded of as they are for my sponsee to hear.  A sponsor is a guide; someone who can hold up a mirror so that another person can see themselves and their behavior more honestly and can learn how the Steps can help them find serenity and recovery.

Telephone Calls

Sometimes, when I am tempted to use my drug of choice and I cannot seem to find the strength to just turn away, I will make a phone call to someone and tell myself that I won’t act out until after I get off the phone.  Most of the time I call someone else who is working the steps and by the time we are done talking, I don’t feel the craving any more.  If I still have it, I can make another phone call, or try one of the other tools. Sometimes staying abstinent has to be done one hour or even one minute at a time.

To Be Continued

In the next post I will share more of my favorite tools for staying abstinent and close to the Lord instead of giving in to my addiction for comfort when I am stressed.

Have you tried any of these tools? Please feel free to share your positive experiences for other readers. I hope you will find some more ideas in this post, or the next one, that will help you stay abstinent.

Please share your thoughts about this post by commenting below.

Related Posts: Prayer, Meditation and Pondering, Staying Abstinent: Using the Tools – Part 2, Staying Abstinent: Using the Tools – Part 3, Staying Abstinent: Using the Tools – Part 4

 

ARP Meetings – Where Two or Three Are Gathered…

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I recently read D&C 6, and verses 32-37 absolutely jumped off the page at me as pertaining to the Church’s ARP meetings. I “captured” the impressions I received below.

32 Verily, verily, I say unto you, as I said unto my disciples, where two or three are gathered together in my name, as touching one thing, behold, there will I be in the midst of them—even so am I in the midst of you.

We gather as 2 or 3 or 12 or 20 in His name at every Addiction Recovery Program meeting, as touching one thing: recovery from addiction through the Atonement. And He is always in our midst. The Spirit we feel in our meetings is similar to what I feel in the Temple.

33 Fear not to do good, my sons, for whatsoever ye sow, that shall ye also reap; therefore, if ye sow good ye shall also reap good for your reward.

As we each take whatever tiny steps we can toward recovery, we are sowing good, and have hope in Christ of reaping good: recovery!

34 Therefore, fear not, little flock; do good; let earth and hell combine against you, for if ye are built upon my rock, they cannot prevail.

We need not fear Satan nor those who are listening to his voice. We are built upon the rock of Christ and His Atonement. Satan will not win.

35 Behold, I do not condemn you; go your ways and sin no more; perform with soberness the work which I have commanded you.

He accepts us where we are. He holds no grudge. He is willing to wipe our slate clean if we repent and go forward with abstinence and sobriety, walking the path He has laid before us.

36 Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not.

Keeping our focus on the Savior we have no need for doubt or fear. Like Peter walking on the water, we will be safe if we focus on the Savior in each moment.

37 Behold the wounds which pierced my side, and also the prints of the nails in my hands and feet; be faithful, keep my commandments, and ye shall inherit the kingdom of heaven. Amen.

Focus on Christ, remembering the Atonement He has made for us.  Deliverance from sin may be ours as we receive the cleansing and other blessings of the Atonement through repentance. We will one day surely return to live with Him in joy.

Come to an ARP meeting and see how truly this applies. If you are trying to overcome a challenge in your life, come gather with us and let the Lord give you the strength that comes from learning to apply the Atonement in your life.