Category Archives: Working the Program

Working One Step at a Time

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Working the StepsIt is easy to get discouraged, working the 12-Step program, if we obsess about a step we are not ready for.  Think about it.  Wouldn’t it be horribly discouraging to start obsessing about passing a college chemistry class when you are taking 7th grade science? Thinking ahead can paralyze you and keep you from making progress on the step you are working right now.  This is especially true if we start worrying about Steps 4,5,8, or 9.

Here is some good news! Each step prepares you for the next. The output of a step becomes the input for the one that follows it. When you are ready to move on to the next step you will WANT to do it. You may not be excited about the footwork you have to do, but you will be very excited as you anticipate the results of doing it.

If you are a newcomer to the 12-step program, you are on Step 1, admitting that you are powerless over the behavior or substance that brought you to the program. Since most of us spent years thinking we were in control and not powerless at all, and trying to prove it by our actions, that can be a tall order! Focus on Step 1 if that is where you are.  Read the step in the ARP manual, He Did Deliver Me from Bondage, or one of the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions books. (See my Resources page for more info on these books.) Use the tool of writing to identify material that you can apply to your own life. Colleen Harrison, the author of He Did Deliver Me from Bondage  calls it “Capturing”. Here is an abbreviated explanation of how I use this tool.

  1. As you come across a passage that you feel inclined to highlight, copy it into a notebook.
  2. Write about what you think the passage means.
  3. Pray for guidance on how to apply this passage to your life and then write about the impressions you get.

Take the time to thoughtfully answer the questions that appear in the book you are studying. Talk to your sponsor and/or other people who are working the steps about what you are learning. When you think you have learned all you can from this step (this time around), prayerfully ask the Lord if you are done with it and ready to move on.  When you get a confirmation, start working the next one.

Getting Stuck

If I am stuck on a step and can’t seem to find the willingness to move on, it usually means that I probably wasn’t really done with the previous step when I started this one.  For example, if I am working Step 3, and just can’t seem to find the willingness to turn my will and my life over to the Lord and trust Him so I can start Step 4, I might need to go back to Step 2, and dig deeper for the ability and willingness to embrace the fact that He really CAN deliver me from my situation. If I really believe that He can and will deliver me then why would I be reluctant to ask Him to do so in Step 3?

Input and Output

What did I mean when I said that the output of one step becomes the input for the next? In Step 4 you make an inventory.  That inventory contains the things you confess in Step 5.  As you work Step 5, and give away your inventory, the person who receives it will be able to help you identify patterns and put together a list of your shortcomings and weaknesses.  In Step 6, you become willing to ask the Lord to remove them.  Truly, every one of the steps prepares us to work the next step, if we give ourselves to the work with humility and persistence.

  1. What step are you working on?
  2. Are you doing it with humility and persistence?
  3. Are you making progress?
  4. Are you using the tool of writing?
  5. Are you talking to others about what you are learning?
  6. What are you willing to do to move forward?

 

Changing Channels

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Changing ChannelsOh, how often I have wished that I could wave a magic wand and remove my own shortcomings and character defects. Changing can be so hard! Over the years I have observed that my habits and behaviors are like water flowing down the side of a hill.  The water will find the path of least resistance and as it flows, the channel it runs through gets deeper and wider.  The longer the water flows down that channel the deeper it becomes and the harder it is to change. When something triggers me emotionally my behavior immediately starts running down those old familiar paths before I even have a chance to realize what has happened. I have found that changing the channel – creating new and better habits and behaviors – requires action of three different sorts.  First of all, I have to become willing to let go of the old behavior, and turn it over to the Lord. Secondly, I have to put up a dam that prevents the water from starting to flow down the familiar channel and finally, I have to dig a new channel based on the direction I receive from the Lord. Eventually the new channel becomes deep enough and wide enough that my behavior immediately goes down the new, more productive path when something happens.

The Dam

Just like putting up a dam is necessary to prevent the water from going down the old channel, the first thing I need to do to eliminate an old, bad habit is to recognize it as undesirable and make a decision to stop it.  That decision is not enough to change my behavior, but without that decision I don’t have a chance. I need to think about the pattern, write about it, consider what I get out of it and why I go there.  I write about the consequences of it and why I don’t want to do it anymore. I make a decision and a commitment – to myself, to the Lord, and to another person – that I will not go down that path anymore. This commitment is the dam.

Digging the New Channel

If all I do is put up a dam without digging a new channel – creating a new pathway for the water (my behavior) to flow – the next time I am triggered I will create a flood, a big puddle, or a mess. Nature abhors a vacuum. I need to prayerfully decide what new behavior will work better for me, and learn how to do it.  Again, for me, this involves writing.  I write about my options – everything I can think of.  I ask my sponsor and others who have good recovery for their ideas. I consider what feels comfortable for me; what new behavior I can see myself using in the situation instead of the old ones I am trying to change. I pray for a confirmation that this is the right channel to dig, and then I start digging (doing the footwork)! I write out a plan and ask the Lord to confirm it. I read and reread it every day.  I commit to it – to myself, the Lord, and other people. I take inventory throughout the day to see if I need a course correction. I write about and thank the Lord every day for my progress.  It is an iterative process.  If it isn’t working perfectly, I try to figure out why and make a change to the plan. I know the Lord wants me to become more like Him and will give me the power I need to do it, if I will have faith in Him. (See Moroni 7:33)

  • Do you have any old habits or behaviors that don’t serve you well? What are they?
  • Are you willing to let them go?
  • What new channels would you like to dig? Are you willing to do the footwork?

Please share your thoughts about this post by commenting below.

 

Staying Abstinent: Using the Tools – Part 3

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Tools for Staying AbstinentIn the last few weeks I posted Part 1 and Part 2 of my list of tools to use to help you stay abstinent. Here is Part 3, with three more tools. You can see all of the posts that have to do with tools by clicking on “Tools” in the list of categories in the right column on this page. These tools help me stay abstinent because they are productive behaviors or activities to do when I feel stressed or vulnerable and I would, in the past, have turned to my addiction for comfort. They keep me focused on the Lord so that I can access the power of the Atonement to overcome temptation and to make progress on my path to become the person God has given me the potential to be. Part 1 described the tools of Prayer and Meditation, Meetings, Service, Sponsorship and Telephone Calls.  Part 2 covered Writing, Music, Program Literature, Scriptures and Talks. 

Make A Plan to be Abstinent

Thinking ahead about what might happen in my day and what might make me vulnerable to my addiction can help me prepare for those circumstances. I can decide what I will do if I feel tempted, so that I will be able to use my tools to avoid giving in to my addiction. There are many different addictions, but they basically fall into two groups when it comes to abstinence: addictions to substances or behaviors which can be totally eliminated from my life (such as alcohol or use of pornography) and addictions to substances or activities which I must engage in, but which should not be done compulsively (such as eating, or spending).  I call the first kind “Total Abstinence” and the second kind “Planned Abstinence.”  In either case, having a plan will be helpful.

In the case of planned abstinence addictions, I will need to decide in advance how to abstinently do the things I need to do to get through my day.  For example, I can plan my food for the day, the night before, in the morning, or a week in advance so that I will not be trying to figure out what to eat when I am starving, or when nothing sounds good, or when I am tired. In the case of spending, a budget will allow me to know what I can afford, so that I can spend what I have planned without feeling guilty, and without getting into debt by spending money I don’t have.

I found that when I started writing down my food, I started losing weight! I wasn’t even on a diet, nor had I made a decision to change the way I was eating.  I just became mindful of every bite I was eating because I had decided to write it all down.  And magically, I started losing weight!  Once I had done some research and made a food plan to take care of my body, I lost even more, and I have been able to maintain that loss.  Making a decision ahead of time about what I will eat and/or how much I will eat makes me much more likely to enjoy meals and not feel guilty about them.

I came later to budgeting.  Since I started working with a budget I have more peace of mind, I am out of debt, and I have more in savings.  I know if I have money for something, and if I don’t, I don’t buy it! We have no contention about money in our marriage. It is awesome! For more information on how to do this I recommend taking Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University® class.

Breathing Exercise

Many years ago a friend taught me a breathing exercise that is quick and easy and which can dramatically reduce the tension and stress I am feeling in a difficult moment.  This is how it is done:

  1. Close your eyes.
  2. Breathe in and out through your nose, slowly and rhythmically.
  3. Focus your attention on the point at which the air is entering and leaving your body.
  4. Choose a phrase or word to say in your mind with each breath.  You can choose whatever you want but this is what works for me: on the in-breath I think “I am a child,” and on the out-breath I think “of God.”
  5. Repeat steps 2-4 three or four times with your eyes closed.

When I do this exercise I can feel the tension leaving my body in a very physical and tangible way. If I had thoughts of indulging in my addiction, they are often gone, or at least significantly reduced, in the few minutes it takes me to do this. This is big help to me in trying to stay abstinent.

Go to Bed

When I am tired I simply do not make good decisions.  It is almost as if I have a certain amount of “good decision” energy in a day. Sometime in the late afternoon or early evening my supply begins to run out and I start to mindlessly do things that I would never have done earlier in the day.  Once I get to this point, I am vulnerable to acting out, especially if anything happens to upset my apple cart.  When I first realized this, I tried to come up with various coping mechanisms to help me stay abstinent late in the evening.  Some things did help – a little. But nothing works as well as just going to bed! Whatever I was trying to get done is generally not worth the price of breaking my abstinence! I am much more productive in the morning anyway.

To Be Continued

Well, I have a few more tools to write about, and I try to keep these posts relatively short so you won’t put off reading them for “when you have more time” and never get back to it. So, look for Part 4 soon.

Staying Abstinent: Using the Tools – Part 2

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Tools of the ProgramMy last post was Part 1 of a list of tools to use to help you stay abstinent by turning to the Lord instead of your addiction, or other inappropriate behavior in stressful situations.  Part 1 described the tools of Prayer and Meditation, Meetings, Service, Sponsorship and Telephone Calls.  Here is Part 2, which covers Writing, Music, Program Literature, Scriptures and Talks. There will be a part 3, but it may not be the next post, because I have some other things I want to write about, so watch for it.

Writing

I love writing. I find that when I have a pen in my hand I use a different part of my brain than when I am just thinking or talking.  If I just start writing about something that I am struggling with, I often find that in the very act of writing, my mind has become clear and I can see and understand things that were hidden from or confusing me. When this happens it becomes much easier for me to stay abstinent. For more on writing see my post on written prayer.

Music

Music can change my mood in an instant in a way that few other things can.  Identify music that lifts your mood and music that helps you connect with the Savior.  Keep a written list, and/or a playlist on your electronic device.  Create or find a Pandora station that plays what you need to hear.  Memorize a hymn or other song and sing it to yourself when you need a pick-me-up. Listening to the right music can help me become willing to be abstinent!

I had an amazing spiritual experience with music that was an answer to prayer once.  It was a particularly difficult and stressful time in my life and I woke up one morning with a melody going around in my mind.  It was not familiar to me, but it sounded like a hymn tune.  I got out my hymn book and started turning the pages, one at a time, looking for a melody like the one I was hearing in my head. When I got to page 114 it jumped off the page at me.  I didn’t recall ever having sung or heard Come Unto Me before, but the words – and melody – brought such peace to my heart and solace to my soul! I have memorized and used it for comfort in difficult times ever since. 

Program Literature

Have you ever escaped from dealing with the reality of life by reading a novel or watching TV? Then you know how media can serve the purpose of distracting you from whatever is causing stress in your life.  The problem with using those things to escape the moment is that when you stop reading or watching nothing has changed.  I have found that turning to my program literature, such as the ARP manual, The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, Al-Anon, or another 12-Step program, or He Did Deliver Me from Bondage by Colleen Harrison can distract me for the moment, and also remind me of the progress I am making and why I WANT to be abstinent.  Additionally I can find specific thoughts or principles in this literature that can help me turn to the Lord for the power to address the challenges I am facing, instead of my addiction or some other behavior that will not bring me peace or serenity.

Scriptures

The scriptures can also provide great insight and help when we struggle with life.  Use your Topical Guide in the back of Bible to search the scriptures by topic.  Use the footnotes to lead you to other scriptures that might be relevant.  Memorize scriptures that seem particularly helpful.  The scriptures contain direct counsel from the Lord.  If you are looking for guidance from the Lord to help you deal with a situation you can often find it in the scriptures. See my Resources page for some of my favorite program-related scriptures.

Talks

There is an awesome additional resource for obtaining counsel from the Lord: the writing and talks given by the General Authorities of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  They are contained in the monthly Ensign magazine, and can be accessed  on the Church website.  The General Conference Addresses can be watched, listened to, printed or downloaded here. There are additional wonderful Devotionals and other talks given by Church leaders and BYU personnel which can be accessed at the BYUtv website or at BYU Speeches. Since the Church has created its own channel on Youtube, lots of great talks and videos are available there. Finally, checkout MormonChannel.org, another great site with lots of uplifting content where you may be able to find the guidance you need.

I have links to some of my favorites talks and links to sites where you can order the books I mentioned on my Resources page.

Staying Abstinent: Using the Tools – Part 1

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Staying Abstinent by Using the Tools of the ProgramWhen I am stressed, I have a tendency to engage in behaviors that will relieve my stress. Duh! I wrote recently about how turning to those behaviors instead of the Lord can be like putting other gods before Him. So what can I do to help relieve my stress while staying abstinent from my addiction? What does it look like to turn to the Lord instead of those other “gods?” I have a number of tools that I have learned about from various 12-Step fellowships over the years, and some that I have found on my own. I am planning to write individual posts on some of the tools, but here is a partial list of the ones I have found most useful. My next post will have the second half of the list.

Prayer and Meditation

The first and most obvious tool is prayer and meditation.  If my boss is chewing me out or someone is being rude to me I can, in that moment, say a little prayer in my heart and ask the Lord to take away my anger or frustration and tell me how to proceed.  I can ask Him to help me see the other person through His eyes.  If someone in my family has pushed me to the breaking point and I know that I am about to do or say something that I will regret, I can go to my room, get on my knees and ask the Lord to take my burden, strengthen me to be able to bear it, or give me guidance. Sometimes when I do this, I tell Him that I am going to remain there, on my knees, until the feeling, craving, etc. is lifted. It is scary to put my faith on the line like that, but the Lord has always come through for me, although on occasion my knees start to hurt while I am waiting.

Meetings

Going to a 12-Step meeting is an awesome way to remove myself from temptation and recharge my spiritual batteries. In meetings I can sometimes hear the Lord’s guidance to me through the voice of another person when my own spiritual ears are too clogged with the wax of hopelessness or pride to be able to receive personal revelation. I can serve others by what I say, or just by giving someone a hug or a smile. I can receive the same kind of service myself. I always feel closer to the Lord when I go to a meeting. If there is no meeting available, I can go to the ARP website and listen to a podcast of a meeting.

Service

Attending a meeting is one form of service. I won’t even attempt to list all the other opportunities to serve, but here are some ideas.  Reach out to someone who might need it, donate time, do family history work, do temple work, take a new mom’s toddler to the park for an hour, mow someone’s lawn. Any kind of service that is given in Christ-like love can get me outside of myself and my own problems and bring me blessings and a new attitude. But I need to be careful that there are no strings attached to my service; that I am not shaming, throwing guilt, trying to control someone, or attempting to take someone’s agency as I serve.

Sponsorship

Sponsoring someone, or being a support person to someone within the ARP program, is an awesome form of service.  As I sponsor I find myself prompted to say things which are just as important for me to be reminded of as they are for my sponsee to hear.  A sponsor is a guide; someone who can hold up a mirror so that another person can see themselves and their behavior more honestly and can learn how the Steps can help them find serenity and recovery.

Telephone Calls

Sometimes, when I am tempted to use my drug of choice and I cannot seem to find the strength to just turn away, I will make a phone call to someone and tell myself that I won’t act out until after I get off the phone.  Most of the time I call someone else who is working the steps and by the time we are done talking, I don’t feel the craving any more.  If I still have it, I can make another phone call, or try one of the other tools. Sometimes staying abstinent has to be done one hour or even one minute at a time.

To Be Continued

In the next post I will share more of my favorite tools for staying abstinent and close to the Lord instead of giving in to my addiction for comfort when I am stressed.

Have you tried any of these tools? Please feel free to share your positive experiences for other readers. I hope you will find some more ideas in this post, or the next one, that will help you stay abstinent.

Please share your thoughts about this post by commenting below.

Related Posts: Prayer, Meditation and Pondering, Staying Abstinent: Using the Tools – Part 2, Staying Abstinent: Using the Tools – Part 3, Staying Abstinent: Using the Tools – Part 4

 

Can God Understand My Powerlessness?

Working the Program,

Picture of Jesus standing at the door and knocking.In the Church we are taught that in some unfathomable way in the Garden of Gethsemane Jesus somehow experienced and took upon Him every sin, transgression, challenge, feeling, and experience that has ever been or will ever be experienced by any child of God.  Every feeling? What about powerlessness? How could the Lord Omnipotent possibly fully experience powerlessness?  It seems like a contradiction in terms, a paradox.

I was reminded of one of my first profound experiences with powerlessness.  One of my children was refusing to get out of bed and go to school.  There really wasn’t anything she cared enough about for me to be able to use it as an enticement, or even as a threat.  As I stood looking down at her lying in her bed, I was overwhelmed by a feeling of powerlessness.  How had it come to this?  She was my child.  I was her mother.  Yet there was nothing I could do to “make” her behave the way I wanted her to.  It occurred to me that once children grow too large to physically carry, we really don’t have much control over them at all unless we resort to threats of physical violence or emotional abuse, neither of which was an acceptable option to me.

And so it is with Jesus.  He stands at the door and knocks.  He whispers to me through the still small voice.  He longs to bestow upon me every blessing I could possibly want.  Yet He cannot make me open the door.  He cannot make me open my ears or recognize His voice.  He cannot make me open my spiritual eyes and recognize Him at my side.  He cannot force me to receive the blessings He is holding out to me.  He cannot do any of those things without compromising my agency, which would defeat the whole purpose of His mission.  Is this not powerlessness?

He needs me to be His hands, feet and voice in the lives of others.  How does He feel when I am too busy, or afraid? What about Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother?  How do They feel when They watch us stumble and fall?  Do Their hearts cry out to be able to pick us up and comfort us?  What if we don’t recognize Their hands in our lives, and refuse to be comforted?  Do They weep for our sorrows and pain?  Do They long to be able to just hold us?  Rock us?  Tell us it will be alright?

Yes, God knows what it feels like to be powerless.  And as we learn to accept our powerlessness, along with all the feelings associated with it, we grow to become more like Them. Are you ready to give up the illusion of control and confess your powerlessness? It is the first step to freedom.

  • What are you reluctant to let go of – to admit that you are powerless over?
  • Write about how you have tried to control this matter and what the results have been.
  • Are you satisfied with the results?
  • Are you willing to let go and trust the Lord in this matter?
  • What footwork do you need to do in order to let it go?

 

Trust: Do Not Put Other Gods Before Him

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Deuteronomy 5:7, “Thou shalt have none other gods before me.”

When is my addiction like another god which I am putting before the Lord? When I turn to my addiction for comfort at times of stress instead of turning to Him.

When I am stressed, what happens in my brain goes something like this:

  • I feel uncomfortable/stressed/anxious, etc.
  • I don’t like feeling this way.  I just want the feeling to stop!
  • What will make me feel better?  I know!
  • My old friend #$%&# (in my case, food, but you can substitute any behavior or substance).

At this point in the process, I begin to obsess about how to use my addiction to make myself feel better. Unless I do something to break the pattern, I will probably act out, sooner or later.

The Lord tells us not to put any other gods before him, and what will happen if we do (2 Chronicles 7:19-22). We will lose the blessings and privileges he has given us. I will lose the progress and recovery that I have gained if I turn to my addiction instead of the Lord.

So what can I do to break the pattern?  How can I turn to the Lord when I am stressed or anxious or experiencing any other feeling I don’t want to feel?

I stop what I am doing, take a deep breath and literally turn to my right (Isaiah 41:10,13), where I imagine that the Lord is standing by my side. I ask Him to take this from me; to help me to bear this burden by giving me the strength I need to get through this situation without giving in to my addiction. I remember that he has promised that he will give me the power to do all things which are expedient unto Him (Moroni 7:33), and I make a decision to trust Him and let His power flow into me. I may have to do it more than once until the feeling subsides completely, but eventually, it will be gone and I will be grateful that I chose abstinence instead of letting my addiction win.

  • What do you turn to for comfort when you are stressed?
  • Are you “putting other gods before Him?”
  • What could you do differently that would help you more than what you do now?

 

Forgiveness – Working Step 8

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Step 8: Forgiveness

Sometimes when we think of Step 8, we focus exclusively on making a list of all the people we have harmed and becoming willing to make amends to them.  That is, of course, a critical piece of the repentance process and the work we are doing with the Steps. But it is interesting to see that the ARP Guide to Addiction Recovery and Healing first devotes significant time to the importance of identifying those we need to forgive and forgiving them.

Why are we asked to focus on forgiveness first?  The Guide says that it is important to do this so that we are not distracted by resentments when we try to list those we have harmed, and become willing to make amends to them. That is an important reason, but I think there is another.

We are about to ask someone to forgive us.  We are about to ask someone we have harmed in some way to accept our apology and let go of any feelings of resentment they might have towards us.  That might be a very hard thing for some people to do.  Perhaps they have been hurt multiple times by us. Perhaps we have promised to change in the past, maybe more than once.  Perhaps there is broken trust between us that will be difficult to rebuild.

If I have just been through the forgiveness process myself, I can have empathy for those to whom I am trying to make amends.  I can look them sincerely in the eye and tell them that I know I am asking a hard thing of them. And I also will know how relieved they will be when the burden of resentment they have been carrying is lifted.

What resentments are you carrying that you are ready to let go of?

Overcoming Discouragement: The Committee in My Head

Tools, Working the Program

Image of a discouraged person's head with committee members saying things at the same time coming out of the top.You know those voices you hear in your mind sometimes? Occasionally they are positive and uplifting but most are discouraging and disparaging. Some actually seem to echo voices of real people, often from our past – former teachers, leaders, parents, family members or friends. Others seem to come from nowhere. Even the voices of people who love us can sometimes give us bad advice or negative feedback.

  • “You are so clumsy.”
  • “You can’t do that – you are too dumb.”
  • “You can’t ask God for help with that.”
  • “You’ll never be good enough.”

Unfortunately these voices can make it hard for us to think clearly and move forward. Just when we think we have a plan and are ready to take a risk and try to do better – to do something new – to challenge ourselves, to overcome discouragement, one (or more) of those voices will tell us that we are doomed to failure.

I call those voices the “Committee in My Head”. I imagine them sitting around a conference table expressing their thoughts. Freely. Sometimes at the top of their lungs. Other times in a persistent whisper.

I have learned an interesting thing about my committee over the years. It is my committee, and I get to decide who is on it!  If someone on the committee is discouraging me, I can fire them!  I can tell them that they are no longer welcome on my committee and their advice is no longer needed. If they come back, I can refuse to let them in or listen to them.

Even better, I can deliberately choose new voices to invite onto my committee to drown out the old discouraging ones. How? By reading great books or blogs; by finding mentors who I trust and who have created the kind of life I want; by attending meetings and making phone calls and using the other tools of the program. I can fill my committee with cheer-leading encouraging voices.

  • “You can do it!”Image of an orderly committee meeting with happy participants.
  • “You are awesome!”
  • “Give it one more shot.”
  • “Maybe you should pray for the Lord’s help and try again.”
  • “Think of how much progress you have made!”
  • “God loves you and I love you, too!”

If I am going to have a committee giving me advice it might as well be good advice!  And advice that will help me overcome discouragement, not create it.

  • Do you have a committee in your head that sometimes offers negative thoughts or ideas?
  • Do you let these thoughts hold you back from doing what you would like to do?
  • Do you believe that you can learn to recognize and “fire” the voices that are holding you back?
  • What voices would you like to invite to join your committee?
  • What will you do today to let go of what is holding you back and nurture and support yourself in moving forward?

Please share your thoughts about this post by commenting below.

Related Posts: Help: Encircled about in the Arms of His Love, Focus: Riding through the Boulders

Forgiveness: Left on the Cutting Room Floor

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Image of old clips of film laying on the floor. Jeremiah 31:34

“And they shall teach no more every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the Lord: for they shall all know me, from the least of them unto the greatest of them, saith the Lord: for I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more.”

Even though I work my program and share the hope and the good news that through the power of the Atonement we can receive all that we need from the Lord to be cleansed and draw near to Him, I sometimes find myself dwelling on my shortcomings rather than my progress. It seems especially difficult to let go of past mistakes and forgive myself despite having a sure testimony that the Lord has forgiven me.

So what are the implications of the Lord’s promise in Jeremiah 31:34 that He “will remember their sin no more”?

I imagine myself standing at the judgment bar with the Lord standing by my side as my Advocate.  The movie of my life is playing.  Scene after scene plays out on the screen.  Some scenes surprise me – I had forgotten all about those things.  Sometimes I know what is coming next, and the thought of having to watch it in front of everyone makes me cringe.  Wait! What? We jumped right over that scene! Hooray!

What happened? That scene was left on the cutting room floor. Why? Because once I had repented and the Lord had forgiven me, he “remembers it no more”. That is forgiveness! If he doesn’t remember it, it cannot be a part of the movie of my life! My movie has been edited and all the bad parts for which I have repented – all the parts that fill me with shame and guilt – have been removed.  I may remember them, in order to protect myself from making the same mistakes again, but the Lord has forgiven and forgotten.

Divine forgiveness – good news indeed!

  • What part of your life do you hope will be a scene left on the cutting room floor?
  • Have you done all you can to fully repent of it?  What do you still need to do?
  • You may remember, to keep yourself from making the same mistake again, but have you forgiven yourself?
  • What will you do today to forgive yourself and move on?

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