Monthly Archives: May 2014

Why Are We Here?

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We, (that part of ourselves that contains our essence, which existed before our bodies were created and will exist after our bodies are gone) were happy and loved wherever we lived before we came to this earth. How do I know? Look at an infant. Watch the spontaneous demonstration of love and affection and joy that emanate from a child who has not been abused. How is it that a baby, in its brief physical existence, somehow innately knows how to love and be loved? I think we bring love with us when we come to earth, and we keep it unless others take it away from us in one way or another.

So, if we were happy where we were, but this mortal life can cause us pain and sorrow, why did we come here? We came to learn and to grow. We came to spread our wings and to fly. We came to find and to reach our full potential in this life, and to develop the skills we will need to magnify our opportunities in eternal life.

This earth life is much like going away to college or to the military. For most of us, home was safe and secure. We were loved there. We had friends, loved ones, places and institutions we were comfortable with. Yet we knew that we could do and be more. We needed to go to an unfamiliar place to learn to walk in faith and to choose for ourselves how to live and who we wanted to be. We left home and struck out on our own.

Yes, sometimes we found a particular course difficult. We may have even failed one or two, but we enjoyed many that forced us to stretch and to grow and to develop our skills, talents and abilities. When we felt discouraged about a failure or had good news to share, we “phoned home,” knowing that we would find help and support and acceptance there. So, too, we can now “phone” our eternal home – pray and ponder – and receive help, support, acceptance, and love.

We are here to find our callings, to discover our potential, to grow, and to reach beyond our current limitations so that when we return to the spiritual home we once left, we will be prepared to fulfill our eternal destiny.

  • What is your life’s calling?
  • If you know, what are you doing to magnify it?
  • If you don’t know, what are you doing to discover it?
  • What more can you do?

 

Tuning In

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Transistor RadioI have an old battery operated transistor radio I use sometimes when I go for a walk. When it is not quite tuned in to the correct frequency, I can hear some of what is being said, but it may fade in and out, there may be static and sometimes I can hear country music or preaching from another station in the background. I try to avoid changing the station at all because it is so hard to get it to exactly the right spot!  Sometimes, in order to be sure I am tuned in to the right station, I take it over to another radio that I know is correct and turn them both on at the same time.

My heart is like a radio, but it receives the voice of my Savior instead of receiving a radio broadcast.  The signal that carries the Savior’s voice is the Holy Ghost.  This concept is clearly taught in Doctrine and Covenants 8:2, “Yea, behold, I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart.” (See also Moses 5:9 and Moroni 8:7-9). This spiritual signal is always broadcasting, just like a radio station, but sometimes I get busy and caught up in the world. At these times I cannot hear the Lord’s voice because I am either not listening at all or not tuned in very well.

Sometimes I can hardly hear because of the “background noise” in my life. This includes the stresses of my day-to-day life and Satan’s lies. I am especially susceptible to the ones that include “if only,” “someday,” “should,” and “I can eat just one – it will make me feel better.”  I create static for myself when I compare myself to others. I have written in a previous post about the “committee in my head”. Those voices sometimes shout so loudly that they would drown out anything!

I want so much to be able to hear the voice of love, harmony and peace that speaks to me when I tune in to the right frequency and reduce or eliminate the background noise. I have had to learn this lesson through trial, error and practice.  First, I have to notice when I am not in tune with the Spirit, and not hearing the Lord’s voice. Second, I have to reawaken my desire to hear it. Third, I have to do what is necessary to get tuned in.

I take an honest look at my life – an inventory. I ask myself if I have any self-limiting beliefs or habits that are creating static. Is there anything I need to change to be able to hear His voice?

I have discovered that listening to the right kind of music can help me tune in as much as listening to the wrong kind can interfere. For me, music with words is distracting but certain kinds of instrumental music – Native American flute for example – can help me hear the still small voice of the Spirit.

I have to be willing to believe that the Savior really loves me unconditionally and wants to communicate with me in order to hear His voice. If I don’t turn on my spiritual radio because I am afraid that nothing is being broadcast, I won’t hear the message no matter how good it is.

Just as I sometimes take my little transistor radio over to one that I know is on the right station, I have learned to recognize the Savior’s voice by reading His words in the scriptures and listening to the prophets when He speaks to me through them.

Tuning in is quite a bit of work, but well worth the effort.  Staying tuned in is easier than getting tuned in.  I try to avoid changing the station at all.

  • Are you in tune?
  • Do you need to eliminate static or fine tune your receiver?
  • What actions are you willing to take to help you get and stay in tune so you can better receive personal revelation through the Spirit?

 

Working One Step at a Time

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Working the StepsIt is easy to get discouraged, working the 12-Step program, if we obsess about a step we are not ready for.  Think about it.  Wouldn’t it be horribly discouraging to start obsessing about passing a college chemistry class when you are taking 7th grade science? Thinking ahead can paralyze you and keep you from making progress on the step you are working right now.  This is especially true if we start worrying about Steps 4,5,8, or 9.

Here is some good news! Each step prepares you for the next. The output of a step becomes the input for the one that follows it. When you are ready to move on to the next step you will WANT to do it. You may not be excited about the footwork you have to do, but you will be very excited as you anticipate the results of doing it.

If you are a newcomer to the 12-step program, you are on Step 1, admitting that you are powerless over the behavior or substance that brought you to the program. Since most of us spent years thinking we were in control and not powerless at all, and trying to prove it by our actions, that can be a tall order! Focus on Step 1 if that is where you are.  Read the step in the ARP manual, He Did Deliver Me from Bondage, or one of the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions books. (See my Resources page for more info on these books.) Use the tool of writing to identify material that you can apply to your own life. Colleen Harrison, the author of He Did Deliver Me from Bondage  calls it “Capturing”. Here is an abbreviated explanation of how I use this tool.

  1. As you come across a passage that you feel inclined to highlight, copy it into a notebook.
  2. Write about what you think the passage means.
  3. Pray for guidance on how to apply this passage to your life and then write about the impressions you get.

Take the time to thoughtfully answer the questions that appear in the book you are studying. Talk to your sponsor and/or other people who are working the steps about what you are learning. When you think you have learned all you can from this step (this time around), prayerfully ask the Lord if you are done with it and ready to move on.  When you get a confirmation, start working the next one.

Getting Stuck

If I am stuck on a step and can’t seem to find the willingness to move on, it usually means that I probably wasn’t really done with the previous step when I started this one.  For example, if I am working Step 3, and just can’t seem to find the willingness to turn my will and my life over to the Lord and trust Him so I can start Step 4, I might need to go back to Step 2, and dig deeper for the ability and willingness to embrace the fact that He really CAN deliver me from my situation. If I really believe that He can and will deliver me then why would I be reluctant to ask Him to do so in Step 3?

Input and Output

What did I mean when I said that the output of one step becomes the input for the next? In Step 4 you make an inventory.  That inventory contains the things you confess in Step 5.  As you work Step 5, and give away your inventory, the person who receives it will be able to help you identify patterns and put together a list of your shortcomings and weaknesses.  In Step 6, you become willing to ask the Lord to remove them.  Truly, every one of the steps prepares us to work the next step, if we give ourselves to the work with humility and persistence.

  1. What step are you working on?
  2. Are you doing it with humility and persistence?
  3. Are you making progress?
  4. Are you using the tool of writing?
  5. Are you talking to others about what you are learning?
  6. What are you willing to do to move forward?

 

Changing Channels

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Changing ChannelsOh, how often I have wished that I could wave a magic wand and remove my own shortcomings and character defects. Changing can be so hard! Over the years I have observed that my habits and behaviors are like water flowing down the side of a hill.  The water will find the path of least resistance and as it flows, the channel it runs through gets deeper and wider.  The longer the water flows down that channel the deeper it becomes and the harder it is to change. When something triggers me emotionally my behavior immediately starts running down those old familiar paths before I even have a chance to realize what has happened. I have found that changing the channel – creating new and better habits and behaviors – requires action of three different sorts.  First of all, I have to become willing to let go of the old behavior, and turn it over to the Lord. Secondly, I have to put up a dam that prevents the water from starting to flow down the familiar channel and finally, I have to dig a new channel based on the direction I receive from the Lord. Eventually the new channel becomes deep enough and wide enough that my behavior immediately goes down the new, more productive path when something happens.

The Dam

Just like putting up a dam is necessary to prevent the water from going down the old channel, the first thing I need to do to eliminate an old, bad habit is to recognize it as undesirable and make a decision to stop it.  That decision is not enough to change my behavior, but without that decision I don’t have a chance. I need to think about the pattern, write about it, consider what I get out of it and why I go there.  I write about the consequences of it and why I don’t want to do it anymore. I make a decision and a commitment – to myself, to the Lord, and to another person – that I will not go down that path anymore. This commitment is the dam.

Digging the New Channel

If all I do is put up a dam without digging a new channel – creating a new pathway for the water (my behavior) to flow – the next time I am triggered I will create a flood, a big puddle, or a mess. Nature abhors a vacuum. I need to prayerfully decide what new behavior will work better for me, and learn how to do it.  Again, for me, this involves writing.  I write about my options – everything I can think of.  I ask my sponsor and others who have good recovery for their ideas. I consider what feels comfortable for me; what new behavior I can see myself using in the situation instead of the old ones I am trying to change. I pray for a confirmation that this is the right channel to dig, and then I start digging (doing the footwork)! I write out a plan and ask the Lord to confirm it. I read and reread it every day.  I commit to it – to myself, the Lord, and other people. I take inventory throughout the day to see if I need a course correction. I write about and thank the Lord every day for my progress.  It is an iterative process.  If it isn’t working perfectly, I try to figure out why and make a change to the plan. I know the Lord wants me to become more like Him and will give me the power I need to do it, if I will have faith in Him. (See Moroni 7:33)

  • Do you have any old habits or behaviors that don’t serve you well? What are they?
  • Are you willing to let them go?
  • What new channels would you like to dig? Are you willing to do the footwork?

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