Letting go of my dreams – the vision I had of what my future would hold – and learning to allow God to create a future for me has been one of the more difficult aspects of my recovery. It is so much more complicated than it sounds! It is not really that I think I could do a better job than God, but rather that not being in control triggers feelings of discomfort and fear.
I have become attached to the ideas and the pictures in my head of how my life will turn out. Letting go of them is painful. Trusting that the Lord’s plan for my life will be better than mine is also hard. I love the Lord. I want to trust Him. I know, intellectually, that I can and should trust Him and that He is much more capable of designing the perfect life for me than I am. But what if His plan for me is hard? What if His plan has me wading through trials and pain? What if I have to experience things I don’t want to experience? Sometimes my intellectual knowledge and even my faith that “all things work together for good to them that love God” (Romans 8:28), isn’t enough to overcome my fear.
I have written previously about how to let go. This post is just to acknowledge that it is hard. But I also want to say that it is worth it. In every case where I have chosen to let go, I have found peace. I have stepped into the unknown and found the Lord by my side. This poem was particularly helpful to me as I tried to learn to let go in the early days of my recovery.
BROKEN DREAMS by Lauretta P. Burns
As children bring their broken toys
With tears for us to mend,
I brought my broken dreams to God
Because He was my friend.
But then instead of leaving Him
In peace to work alone,
I hung around and tried to help
With ways that were my own.
At last I snatched them back and cried,
“How could you be so slow?”
“My child,” He said, “what could I do?”
“You never did let go.”
I testify that God loves us and that He will give us what we need. He will enable us to reach our full potential, if we let Him. Jesus is my friend. He walks by my side. He carries the burden for me when it is more than I have strength to bear. He smiles and is pleased when I grow. He will never leave me. Nor will He leave you.
- What are your broken dreams?
- Do you have a testimony that Jesus is always there for you? Write it out.
- What will you do today to learn to let go?
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