Monthly Archives: April 2016

How to Become Entirely Ready for God to Remove Your Shortcomings

Step 6: Become Entirely ReadyDo you have a desire to be your best self? Do you want to have your shortcomings and weaknesses removed? Would you like to put your old self behind you and walk into the future a new and improved creature? Well what exactly does that look like? Can you describe the “new you”? What does it look like to allow God to remove your shortcomings? Notice that I said “allow,” because He will not change you against your will. You must spiritually create the new you before you can “become entirely ready” to allow God to make it happen.

Just like an architect visualizes a home remodeling project and creates it in his/her mind, then electronically or on paper before construction begins, I must create (with God’s help) the new me in my mind, and perhaps on the pages of my journal, before I have become entirely ready to be changed in the physical or temporal world. Then and only then will I be willing to allow Him to begin the remodeling process.

All things are created spiritually before they are created physically.

Genesis 2:4–5

“These are the generations of the heavens and of the earth when they were created, in the day that the Lord God made the earth and the heavens, And every plant of the field before it was in the earth, and every herb of the field before it grew…”

Moses 3:5

“And every plant of the field before it was in the earth, and every herb of the field before it grew. For I, the Lord God, created all things, of which I have spoken, spiritually, before they were naturally upon the face of the earth.”

Many people are unable to complete Step 6, “becom[ing] entirely ready to have God remove all [their] character weaknesses” because, with no concept of who they would be without those weaknesses, they are afraid to let go of them. Stuck in Step 6, they cannot get to Step 7, where they humbly ask to have their shortcomings removed.

The work of Step 6: how do we become entirely ready?

I have written before about how each step has an “input and an output.” The input to Step 6 is the list of shortcomings and weaknesses we identified in Step 5. (For more on this read “Six Thoughts about Step 5.”) Starting with this list, we have to somehow find the willingness to allow God to remove them.

According to Aristotle, nature abhors a vacuum. Trying to simply have a shortcoming removed is counterproductive. Removing it will leave a space into which something else will rush. If we don’t determine ahead of time what that “something else” is going to be, it could be worse than what we wanted to have removed!

“Unless you examine all your tendencies toward fear, pride, resentment, anger, self-will, and self-pity, your abstinence will be shaky at best. You will continue with your original addiction or switch to another one. Your addiction is a symptom of other “causes and conditions” (Alcoholics Anonymous [2001], 64).” (A Guide to Addiction Recovery and Healing, p. 13. emphasis added.)

So, suppose you get caught up playing solitaire on the computer when you are bored. You know it is a waste of time and decide to ask the Lord to remove it. If you don’t spiritually create a better way to handle boredom first, you might mindlessly start surfing the Internet instead of playing solitaire and develop an addiction to shopping online! Wouldn’t it be better if you prayerfully made a list of productive things you could do when you are bored, made sure you had the resources you needed to be able to do those things, imagined yourself doing them and pictured what it would look like in your life, and then asked Him to remove the solitaire addiction?

What about a character weakness, such as being quick to anger? Suppose you asked the Lord to remove this weakness, and then when something happened to make you angry you just stuffed it and tried to ignore it until you s.l.o.w.l.y got to the point where you exploded. Would that be an improvement? Wouldn’t it make more sense to write and pray about what healthy behavior you could use in those situations, do some research, start practicing using those behaviors and then ask the Lord to remove the “quick to anger” weakness? Would you be more likely to “become entirely ready” to have this weakness actually removed by doing this work than by simply thinking, “I don’t want to have this weakness anymore,” and asking Him to remove it?

If I do the work of Step 6 by spiritually creating the “new me” after prayerfully considering what options I have and what I want the “new me” to look like, the Lord will be able to remove my shortcomings when I ask Him to in Step 7. It will be up to Him whether and when He will remove them. If I know that I have done the work required of me to “become entirely ready” to have them removed, I can accept with serenity the will of the Lord. I know that I am a better person simply for having done this work. That makes it worth the effort.

  • What shortcomings would you like to have the Lord remove in your life?
  • Have you become entirely ready to have them removed?
  • What will you do today to become entirely ready for the Lord to remove your shortcomings?

Please share your thoughts about this post or other resources you would recommend by commenting below.

Related Posts: Changing ChannelsRock of ResentmentOne Day At A Time Management

Why Recovery Stories are Important

Knowledge lodges in my mind. Stories bind it in my heart.

Sometimes we study the 12 Steps but don’t seem to be able to find recovery. It may not be because we don’t understand the Steps. Rather, it might be because we haven’t figured out how to apply the steps in our lives. In reality, the 12 Steps are neither more nor less than a way of learning about and applying the power of the Atonement in our lives. Learning about the Atonement and the 12 Steps is important, but applying them in our lives is more important. One way to do this is by listening to the recovery stories of others.

I have an opportunity to hear these stories when I attend 12 Step meetings. The more meetings I go to, the more opportunities I have to hear people tell how they apply the Steps in their lives on a daily basis. The recovery stories I hear at meetings give me ideas about how I can integrate the 12 Steps in my daily life and live in a state of recovery.

Another way to hear recovery stories is to listen to the podcasts and videos the Church has made available on their website. For example:

There are also stories of how people have seen the 12 Steps work in their lives in program literature from other fellowships.The basic texts of many of the 12 Step fellowships have recovery stories at the back of the book. For example:

  • Alcoholics Anonymous (The Big Book)
  • Overeaters Anonymous (The Brown Book)
  • Narcotics Anonymous Basic Text (6th Edition)

There are also monthly magazines that contain recovery stories:

  • Alcoholics Anonymous Grapevine Magazine (subscription required to access most content)
  • Overeaters Anonymous Lifeline magazine (free online in PDF format)
  • The NA Way magazine (free online in PDF format)

Parables and metaphors are also stories. The Savior used them when he taught because it helped those who were spiritually prepared to better understand and apply the principle he was talking about. Many of my blog posts contain metaphors that have come as I have searched for a way to explain a Step or concept to someone or as the Lord has explained one to me!

Knowledge lodges in the mind. Stories bind it in the heart.

  • What recovery stories have you read or heard that help you apply the Steps to your life?
  • What story can you share with others about living in recovery or applying the Steps?
  • What will you do today to help yourself or others to find ways to apply the Atonement?

Please share your thoughts about this post or other resources you would recommend by commenting below.

Related Posts: In the right hand column of this page, under the heading “Categories,” click on “Metaphor” to find stories that might help you live in a state of recovery.

 

 

My Journey Down the River of Life

Journey Down the River of LifeI float on my back down the river of life. My feet are downstream so that I see just a little bit of what lies ahead over the tips of my toes. The river moves slowly and the Lord walks by my side with his hand under me, supporting my back. He sees what is coming ahead. I trust Him to guide me and keep me safe on this relatively easy and effortless journey.

From time to time there are boulders and trees in the riverbed. When I come close enough to touch something with my feet, I need to be soft and flexible. My knees act like shock absorbers, bending as needed and then I straighten them to push myself off the obstruction. Sometimes I “tiptoe” around the object until I can resume my journey.

The water flows a little faster as the riverbed drops down on occasion. I feel a little fear, and look up at my Savior who continues to walk calmly by my side. He smiles reassuringly. I feel His hand gently supporting me. My circumstances do not threaten me. I am safe with Him.

Sometimes there are rapids. I may get bumped and a little bruised. But with the Lord to rescue me and keep me safe, I will not drown, unless I refuse His aid. He may lift me directly and carry me down river past the danger. Or He may have a raft manned by His servants pick me up and care for me temporarily. Sometimes He drafts me to care for others as my journey downstream continues.

There is only one way for me to be in danger: if I decide to manage the trip myself. Even when the river is slow, I barely see over the tips of my toes. Without His loving guidance I will get snagged by submerged limbs. If I try to go it alone in the white water, I will surely be smashed on the rocks or caught in a whirlpool. No. I cannot navigate the river alone. And why would I want to?

  • How fast is the river of your life flowing right now?
  • How flexible are you when you encounter obstacles? What does that look like in your life?
  • What will you do today to give more control to the Savior and allow Him to guide you?

Please share your thoughts about this post by commenting below.

Related Posts: Problem Solving FlowchartTuning InTrust: Do Not Put Other Gods Before HimThere is No Darkness in the Presence of the Lord

 

Creating a Nurturing Environment

The very same hydrangea bush produces either pink or blue flowers depending on its environment. (image)I love hydrangeas. They feel fluffy and soft and happy to me. I especially like pink and blue ones. I once lived in a townhouse that had a small front yard. I decided to plant hydrangea bushes – one pink and one blue. Imagine my surprise when I went to the plant nursery and they told me that the hydrangea bush could bear either pink blossoms or blue ones depending upon the acidity of the soil! If I wanted the flowers to be blue, I needed to amend the soil around that bush to lower the pH, and if I wanted them to be pink I needed to give them soil with a higher pH. But either way, I needed to make sure they had a good environment to live in with appropriate amounts of water and nutrients and light and space to grow.

Recently I was pondering how we are like hydrangea bushes. God created us perfectly. If our life isn’t pretty, it is not because we are basically flawed and need to be plucked up and cast into the fire. The environment we live in – both the external environment and the environment within our hearts and minds – has nurtured and produced the fruit and flowers we currently bear. Modifying that environment can change the way in which we blossom.

External Environment

Just like we can pull the weeds that steal nutrients and water in our gardens, we may find that we need to eliminate certain things from the environment we live in. This may include certain influences that come from the media, certain beverages or foods that are bad for us or trigger us to eat in unhealthy ways, or anything non-essential that we turn to in moments of stress instead of turning to the Lord. We may even need to eliminate toxic relationships from our lives and learn to modify the way we relate to others in ways that will make the garden of our lives more beautiful and fragrant.

If we are planted in soil that is truly dry and barren, surrounded by weeds that greedily claim the little bit of water and nutrients available, we may struggle to bear any fruit or flowers at all. In such extreme cases we may need to actually transplant ourselves to a more hospitable garden – someplace where there is fertile ground and plenty of rain and people to tend the garden. Some people find that their old friends, neighborhoods and sometimes even family members are so unable to provide the caring and nurturing they need to bloom that it is impossible to improve their environment and they just need to leave it behind and find a new community. These people may need to cut ties to those who suck the life out of them even if it hurts. Fortunately this is not often required.

Internal Environment

To blossom as fully as we possibly can, we can pull the weeds and nourish and amend the internal soil of our minds and hearts. We can eliminate activities and thoughts that drag us down. We can read scriptures, study program literature, write, pray, listen to uplifting music and associate with others who are on the same path to recovery. We can work the Steps with humility and do our best to learn from others who have overcome the same challenges we have and are willing to show us how they did it.

  • How satisfied are you with your current crop of fruit and flowers?
  • What can you do to improve both your internal and external environments?
  • What are you willing to do today?

Please share your thoughts about this post by commenting below.

Related Posts: Spiritual MetamorphosisFrom My Prayer Journal: God is My SculptorChange: The AADWAR Process